7 things I plan to do before I die:
1. Have a really wonderful wife
2. Get really famous as an architect
3. Keeping in touch with all my childhood friends
4. Get my very own semi-automatic convertible sports car
5. Have my own yatch and cruise the 7 seas
6. Construct a building that would last longer than the pyramid of Giza
7. Make sure my wife is dead before me.
7 things that attract me towards the opposite sex:
1. The fact that they dont have the same sex genitals as I do
2. Having a waist smaller than I do
3. Having less facial hair than I do
4. Clean of unwanted excess hair which grows on hidden areas
5. Humor
6. Silky smooth hair
7. Kind...yeah... willing to spend time with me would deem her 10 merit points for kindness edi.
7 things which I say most often:
1. Yao mou L??????
2. Niama la!
3. Ooo, today the sky no clouds
4. U very farn!
5. Yea...I'm sorry
6. Life is meaningless....
7. (Due to excessive use of the female genitals... especially of the motherly love type... I've started a new trend which emphasizes on the male polulation... Hence i present to u...) Nia Pa Ge Lan!!!!
7 places which I am caught most often at:
1. Home
2. School
3. Cyber cafes
4. Yum cha
5. Father's workshop
6. Godmom's house
7. Cinema
number 1 is home... I am pathetic...
no. 2 is school summore... omigod... feel like geek.
no. 3.... WTF??? still kid meh
no. 4... Yum yum yum... see when I get diabetes
5,6 no comment after let lightning strike.
no. 7 watch a lot of movies lately with guys. Watching with guys... really suck!!!
For one... They will blame you for bringing them to watch integrated enhancement of the 21st century cutting edge technology in animation...such as ..."Chicken Little." They put all the blame to me... But have I ever complained watching "DOOM!!!!" and fucking "Tai Sou" with them?????
Oh ya I did...so what goes around comes around. Dont complain!
7 most prized possession:
1. My EK civic 97 rear light with 99 headlight hybrid of a car.
2. My P4 of Geforce Ti 4 and 256 DDR... She might be slow... But with lack of speed comes stability. I love my PC.
3. My Kenwood MP3, WMA, CD, Fm tuner, car audio.
4. My 5.1 Megapixel with 3X optical zoom Sony camera.
5. My Nokia 6021 phone. I love it.. cause it has no camera!!!
6. My ....(shit... got nothing more to showoff) ... my hair?
7. K la... My life as well. But any of the above 6 is to be threatened... I am willing to use 1 to ram the offender, with an opened driver window... I shall use 5 to missle his head, and 2 to stuff his arse with, and 3 shoved deep under his throat, finally 4 to capture that most promising moment of victor. If the offender still manages to survive and sue, I shall just sacrifice 7 and inflame myself with him so that we could both be engulfed in a fiery burning sensational death.
7 people I want to do this:
1,2,3,4,5,6,7... All moi! Dont worry. Wont tag anybody.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Thursday, November 17, 2005
To a Friend...
To that man whom made a difference in my life...
To that man whom brought sheer happiness at my lowest moment...
To that man whom thought me how a man should live his life...
To that man whom stood for my advantage...
To that man whom I highly respected...
To that man whom gave me a helping hand when I asked for it...
To that man whom shared his memoirs of joy with me...
To that man whom from time to time offer a share of his ear candies...
To that man whom I regarded as a brother...
To that man Mikel, Happy Birthday.
Significantly, Mikel and I never really met in real life. Yet we seem to click well as cyber buddies with mutual concern for one another. It is with this rare encounter in which I manage to stumble upon his profound blog of humor. www.louyau.net . in which he strived really hard into bringing assembled pieces of shattered humor into his readers' daily life.
He tried really hard into digging the very minor pieces of humor in which people seems to miss out on their daily routine of mindless tasking.
Even during one of his lowest moment in which he lost his most pride posession of a girlfriend, he still managed to shed a smile of tears to his friends and readers into assuring his well being.
Well, Mikel aint a Saint here, yet he is willing to sacrifice for the right friends and worthy of perpetual friendship.
Mikel never seize to amaze me with his maturity in his management of friendship and relationship. Yet, he gave a major drawback when Charlotte returns from Canada.
He contradicts towards his words, shattering the idolized painting of his in which i hung in my mind.
However, Mikel manage to recover from his fall, and kick Charlotte's sorry ass goodbye. Tears of joy filled my eyes like a raging waterfall. ok... I exaggerate...
Still... I'm happy you lived up to your words... your reputation.
Just to let you know...
Friends are life...
Brothers... are forever...
Really hope we will get to meet each other one day, with a beer/coffee in our hands, lamenting on our fruitful friendship, talking about our joyous past...
Pls... just dont wait till we meet one another tombstone to tombstone.
Till then, I shall await the day you keep your promise for good.
...
Take care.
Happy 24th...u old hag!! WAHAHAHAHA~
To that man whom brought sheer happiness at my lowest moment...
To that man whom thought me how a man should live his life...
To that man whom stood for my advantage...
To that man whom I highly respected...
To that man whom gave me a helping hand when I asked for it...
To that man whom shared his memoirs of joy with me...
To that man whom from time to time offer a share of his ear candies...
To that man whom I regarded as a brother...
To that man Mikel, Happy Birthday.
Significantly, Mikel and I never really met in real life. Yet we seem to click well as cyber buddies with mutual concern for one another. It is with this rare encounter in which I manage to stumble upon his profound blog of humor. www.louyau.net . in which he strived really hard into bringing assembled pieces of shattered humor into his readers' daily life.
He tried really hard into digging the very minor pieces of humor in which people seems to miss out on their daily routine of mindless tasking.
Even during one of his lowest moment in which he lost his most pride posession of a girlfriend, he still managed to shed a smile of tears to his friends and readers into assuring his well being.
Well, Mikel aint a Saint here, yet he is willing to sacrifice for the right friends and worthy of perpetual friendship.
Mikel never seize to amaze me with his maturity in his management of friendship and relationship. Yet, he gave a major drawback when Charlotte returns from Canada.
He contradicts towards his words, shattering the idolized painting of his in which i hung in my mind.
However, Mikel manage to recover from his fall, and kick Charlotte's sorry ass goodbye. Tears of joy filled my eyes like a raging waterfall. ok... I exaggerate...
Still... I'm happy you lived up to your words... your reputation.
Just to let you know...
Friends are life...
Brothers... are forever...
Really hope we will get to meet each other one day, with a beer/coffee in our hands, lamenting on our fruitful friendship, talking about our joyous past...
Pls... just dont wait till we meet one another tombstone to tombstone.
Till then, I shall await the day you keep your promise for good.
...
Take care.
Happy 24th...u old hag!! WAHAHAHAHA~
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Responsibility
Responsibility happens to run in the family.
From my father's time, he has played an integral role of being the bread winner for the whole family of 6, currently expanded to 12 including my mom's ugly dog.
It is undeniable that such dedication requires more than perseverence itself.
Right from my grandparents to the pathetic dog that's guarding my home, they all have 1 thing in common.
RESPONSIBILITY.
There's this time I reached home at 4 in the morning and as i entered the front gate... that ugly dog barked at me.
At a closer look, that aint my dog!
That's some ugly yellow dog pretending to be my dog!
And as i ponder the whereabout of my dog, it then struck me...
That must be a replacement guard dog my dog hired to hold his post while he is out doing his groceries shopping.
Such responsibility can only be found within the residence of Koe.
It gives no exception to me.
Being raised in a glass house, I was nurtured with awe inspiring thought that proclaims morality to a whole new level.
Ok... not to the extend of saint, but responsibility is definitely one of my personal attribute.
Having a great deal of responsibility causes more harm than good itself.
Very often responsibility is a weakness...
Being subdued in a weakness one could never reckon with.
The contraction in where an attribute appears to be a taint marked upon your soul.
Thus it is the fate of Koe to be grealy exploited by inhumane act of deception in a world filled with lies and hypocricy.
Sigh...
We are bonded with a certain level of responsibility the very day we were manufactured.
Out of the very factory itself, the uterus, we were already implanted with a chip so fine, it's impossible to detect yet it still fuctions from time to time with it's preset programming.
However the programming is different according to individuals.
Yet, the fact remains that one could never escape from responsibility.
Being a student, you're in responsibility for scoring an A.
Being a parent, you're in responsibility to raise your kids.
Being a husband, you're in the role of playing a court jester for your wife.
Even by being a beggar, you're in subjection of the beggars' code of honor, thou shall not beg in one's territory.
Sigh...sometimes... you just wish you're senile.
Living in a world of joy...
Living in a world of dreams...
Living in a world of absolute freedom...
Unchained from the bolt and lock which is responsibility itself.
I envy ppl with demented mentality.
ooo look, it's 5 am now.
Struck with guilt, responsibility sets in, release a swarm of self-conflicting thoughts, sending signals to the centre control, activating the chip...
Telling me... It's my responsibility to be a loving son early next morning to accompany my parents for dim sum, thus the need to sleep.
sigh...
From my father's time, he has played an integral role of being the bread winner for the whole family of 6, currently expanded to 12 including my mom's ugly dog.
It is undeniable that such dedication requires more than perseverence itself.
Right from my grandparents to the pathetic dog that's guarding my home, they all have 1 thing in common.
RESPONSIBILITY.
There's this time I reached home at 4 in the morning and as i entered the front gate... that ugly dog barked at me.
At a closer look, that aint my dog!
That's some ugly yellow dog pretending to be my dog!
And as i ponder the whereabout of my dog, it then struck me...
That must be a replacement guard dog my dog hired to hold his post while he is out doing his groceries shopping.
Such responsibility can only be found within the residence of Koe.
It gives no exception to me.
Being raised in a glass house, I was nurtured with awe inspiring thought that proclaims morality to a whole new level.
Ok... not to the extend of saint, but responsibility is definitely one of my personal attribute.
Having a great deal of responsibility causes more harm than good itself.
Very often responsibility is a weakness...
Being subdued in a weakness one could never reckon with.
The contraction in where an attribute appears to be a taint marked upon your soul.
Thus it is the fate of Koe to be grealy exploited by inhumane act of deception in a world filled with lies and hypocricy.
Sigh...
We are bonded with a certain level of responsibility the very day we were manufactured.
Out of the very factory itself, the uterus, we were already implanted with a chip so fine, it's impossible to detect yet it still fuctions from time to time with it's preset programming.
However the programming is different according to individuals.
Yet, the fact remains that one could never escape from responsibility.
Being a student, you're in responsibility for scoring an A.
Being a parent, you're in responsibility to raise your kids.
Being a husband, you're in the role of playing a court jester for your wife.
Even by being a beggar, you're in subjection of the beggars' code of honor, thou shall not beg in one's territory.
Sigh...sometimes... you just wish you're senile.
Living in a world of joy...
Living in a world of dreams...
Living in a world of absolute freedom...
Unchained from the bolt and lock which is responsibility itself.
I envy ppl with demented mentality.
ooo look, it's 5 am now.
Struck with guilt, responsibility sets in, release a swarm of self-conflicting thoughts, sending signals to the centre control, activating the chip...
Telling me... It's my responsibility to be a loving son early next morning to accompany my parents for dim sum, thus the need to sleep.
sigh...
Saturday, October 22, 2005
The Aftermath of War
Wars were never meant to be merciful.
The 10 days of battle has done plenty of damage to both neighbouring countries, however our platoon was triumphant. Nonetheless, it was for the purpose of greater good that lead to this massacre of lesser evil.
Every success came with a price. The commander was right, indeed we were ambushed in the dense amazon. The commander took major damage, taking into consideration of medical disadvantages in the open wild, we had no choice but to seize war while fleeing from time to time from the enemy sight till our medical officer is able to come up with a new concoction of marvel to shed light into our gloomy tent.
However, the commander left precise strategies in commencement even when he is lying stiff in bed. Crying babies, carpet of red along the long stretch of road...
They left us very lil choice but to cripple their defenceless town in order for us to restock on supply.
The great god of war, Apollo has once again stood by our side. We have won our first few major battle despite of our very ill commanding officer. The commander is in light once more, we perceived a glorious vitory ahead of us.
Yet we may not let guards down, as there are among the riots of citizen which bare so much hatred hiding in the think dense jungle ready to strike at our weakest moment.
Logging off--
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
War Log: Day 1
Day 1 was a successful attempt.
Our contingent of armymen has finally went beyond the boundary set by the enemy hostiles.
We are officially behind enemy lines.
The terrain is massly covered by swarmpy grounds and torrential forests.
Needless to say, morale were high amongst us even as the heavy downpour of rain battered against our fatigued body.
We managed to cover 20 acres of ground in the 1st day.
The commander perceived the possibilities of Gerrila Attacks hidden in the midst of the thick forest.
At the final hour of Day 1, we rest in total fear, fear of ambush... this is afterall... a war.
Logging out:
Private Kz
Our contingent of armymen has finally went beyond the boundary set by the enemy hostiles.
We are officially behind enemy lines.
The terrain is massly covered by swarmpy grounds and torrential forests.
Needless to say, morale were high amongst us even as the heavy downpour of rain battered against our fatigued body.
We managed to cover 20 acres of ground in the 1st day.
The commander perceived the possibilities of Gerrila Attacks hidden in the midst of the thick forest.
At the final hour of Day 1, we rest in total fear, fear of ambush... this is afterall... a war.
Logging out:
Private Kz
Sunday, October 09, 2005
War Upon the Assignments!
It has come to my notice that my peers are struggling hard to cope with the final asessment of their course while I procrastinate further to prove that I am indeed much more superior.
But this is no time to prove superiority as time is nearing, deadlines are knocking, pressure is increasing.
Recently, I have the tendency to go choking by just inhaling the atmospheric air in pressure so intense... I cant breath!!!
Friends are pushing me, reminding me of deadlines, AHHHHH!!!!
Cant they let me procrastinate in peace?
The assignments leave me no choice. They have gone too far this time. Pushing me towards the edge.
Either the assignments go, or I go!
This means WAR!!!
I have carefully came up with a divious plan to make my perfect comeback... in a way..."perfect".
A series of attacks would be cast upon the foolish assignments who dare came knocking upon my door!!!
They are gonna pay dearly.
I have everything in place.
My trustee right hand man, Mr Righthand. My Sergeant, Sergeant Lefthand. Among them are 10 disciplined armymen under their disposal. Namely, Private Thumb, Private Index, Private Middle, Private Pinky etc.
Armed with an arsenal of hightech devices such as the rOtring 300/2.0 mm with adjustable end, the Artline 0.1mm so fine it could pierce tanks with pressure magnified a 1000 times due to the needle pointed end, the Pentel Liquidizer, built to erase any flaw which may come along my plan to dominate the entire population of Assignments!!!!
HUAHUAHUAHUAHUA!!!!!
The first wave of bombardment will occur round T-0000 of 10th October. Remember this date. As this is the next great thing after December 7th of 1941.
This is October 10th 2005, a day; to be remembered.
7 Battles to be won.
1 War to be victorious in.
We shall take no prisoner!
CHARGE!!!!!
But this is no time to prove superiority as time is nearing, deadlines are knocking, pressure is increasing.
Recently, I have the tendency to go choking by just inhaling the atmospheric air in pressure so intense... I cant breath!!!
Friends are pushing me, reminding me of deadlines, AHHHHH!!!!
Cant they let me procrastinate in peace?
The assignments leave me no choice. They have gone too far this time. Pushing me towards the edge.
Either the assignments go, or I go!
This means WAR!!!
I have carefully came up with a divious plan to make my perfect comeback... in a way..."perfect".
A series of attacks would be cast upon the foolish assignments who dare came knocking upon my door!!!
They are gonna pay dearly.
I have everything in place.
My trustee right hand man, Mr Righthand. My Sergeant, Sergeant Lefthand. Among them are 10 disciplined armymen under their disposal. Namely, Private Thumb, Private Index, Private Middle, Private Pinky etc.
Armed with an arsenal of hightech devices such as the rOtring 300/2.0 mm with adjustable end, the Artline 0.1mm so fine it could pierce tanks with pressure magnified a 1000 times due to the needle pointed end, the Pentel Liquidizer, built to erase any flaw which may come along my plan to dominate the entire population of Assignments!!!!
HUAHUAHUAHUAHUA!!!!!
The first wave of bombardment will occur round T-0000 of 10th October. Remember this date. As this is the next great thing after December 7th of 1941.
This is October 10th 2005, a day; to be remembered.
7 Battles to be won.
1 War to be victorious in.
We shall take no prisoner!
CHARGE!!!!!
Friday, September 23, 2005
In dedication...
Age 1 - 6:
I am the baby whom gave you 6 hours of labor pain in the ward in the morning of 18th in the rainy season of July.
I am the baby which you neglected due to your heavy load of work.
I am the child who thought being you was easy.
I am the child who showers in the love of many caring souls... yet nvr the content feeling.
Age 7-12:
I am the boy who stood up to bullies and live to tell the tale.
I am that boy who shed many tears, touched by the inspiring words of my god parents.
I am that snobbish boy who thought he knew everything.
I am that brat who almost got kicked out from school for subjecting in 3 fights where the opponents... bleeded...profusely.
I am that fatty that went around school making lil girls weep, big boys shameful and teachers mad.
I am that brat who thinks girls are creation of the Devil.
I am that kid who acted so tough, but almost lost to a girl in a fight. She was 1 head taller k????
I am the boy which teacher nvr expected of scoring straight A's.
Age 12-14:
I am that teen who took an arrow for you, it was almost fatal, yet...cupid did not strike hard enough.
I am that bf who took your love for granted.
I am that teen whom went on a dieting plan all for the courage of speaking to you.
I am that teen who seemed so cold, but feeling all awful inside.
I am that teen who falls sick the day after his first clubbing experience.
Age 14-16:
I am the confused teen... praying for forgiveness and guidance...
I'm sorry I broke another heart.
Age 17-18:
I am that friend who got hated for being subdued in this feeling known as love.
I am that victim of cupid once more... this time... the arrow pierced both hearts... It was fatal...
for me...
for sure...
I am that silly boy who walks around the corridor back and forth just to get a good glance at you.
I am that boy who lingers round the canteen before the break of dawn just to get a word with you.
I am the boy who prepared breakfast for you only to find out how much u hated kaya.
I am that boy...who went against my curfue of reaching school at the very last minute, to taking taxi in the early 6 in the morning so we get to meet.
I am that dengue patient who fought till my very last breath, nvr failing to attend classes, all in the purpose... of your mesmerizing smile.
I am that hopeless friend who neglected friendship in trade of love. I am sorry...
I am the concerned bf who fails to sleep at night worrying about your safety in clubbing.
I am the asshole who hogged on the phoneline so long, you do not have time to study.
I am that hopeless bf who doesnt understand you.
I am the bf, who held on so tight, regardless of any obstacles ahead.
I am... that ex, who shed more than 1 tear knowing that we were nvr meant to be...
I am that ex, who still stalks around your house, violate your privacy, hack your student account, after breakup.
I am that ex, whom made your friends so pissed, for making them to promise to look after you over and over again.
I am that ex who still thinks you are good...just sorry I nvr understand you.
I am that ex which guilt still haunts for imprinting harsh words I never meant, into your memory.
Age 19:
I am that ex of yours who believes if I put enough effort into it, our expired love could be fermented into tasty friendship.
I am that successful patient who overcomed that traumatizing virus known as 'LOVE'.
I am that friend who will try his best to keep you guys happy. Thanks for depositing faith in me. The interests are better now, will definitely improve later. I wont fail you guys.
I am that man who thinks he is ready for another Cupid's arrow. Bring it on.
I am that grateful child, teen, ex and friend I am today. All thanks to you guys for walking down this pavement of growth with me.
I am the baby whom gave you 6 hours of labor pain in the ward in the morning of 18th in the rainy season of July.
I am the baby which you neglected due to your heavy load of work.
I am the child who thought being you was easy.
I am the child who showers in the love of many caring souls... yet nvr the content feeling.
Age 7-12:
I am the boy who stood up to bullies and live to tell the tale.
I am that boy who shed many tears, touched by the inspiring words of my god parents.
I am that snobbish boy who thought he knew everything.
I am that brat who almost got kicked out from school for subjecting in 3 fights where the opponents... bleeded...profusely.
I am that fatty that went around school making lil girls weep, big boys shameful and teachers mad.
I am that brat who thinks girls are creation of the Devil.
I am that kid who acted so tough, but almost lost to a girl in a fight. She was 1 head taller k????
I am the boy which teacher nvr expected of scoring straight A's.
Age 12-14:
I am that teen who took an arrow for you, it was almost fatal, yet...cupid did not strike hard enough.
I am that bf who took your love for granted.
I am that teen whom went on a dieting plan all for the courage of speaking to you.
I am that teen who seemed so cold, but feeling all awful inside.
I am that teen who falls sick the day after his first clubbing experience.
Age 14-16:
I am the confused teen... praying for forgiveness and guidance...
I'm sorry I broke another heart.
Age 17-18:
I am that friend who got hated for being subdued in this feeling known as love.
I am that victim of cupid once more... this time... the arrow pierced both hearts... It was fatal...
for me...
for sure...
I am that silly boy who walks around the corridor back and forth just to get a good glance at you.
I am that boy who lingers round the canteen before the break of dawn just to get a word with you.
I am the boy who prepared breakfast for you only to find out how much u hated kaya.
I am that boy...who went against my curfue of reaching school at the very last minute, to taking taxi in the early 6 in the morning so we get to meet.
I am that dengue patient who fought till my very last breath, nvr failing to attend classes, all in the purpose... of your mesmerizing smile.
I am that hopeless friend who neglected friendship in trade of love. I am sorry...
I am the concerned bf who fails to sleep at night worrying about your safety in clubbing.
I am the asshole who hogged on the phoneline so long, you do not have time to study.
I am that hopeless bf who doesnt understand you.
I am the bf, who held on so tight, regardless of any obstacles ahead.
I am... that ex, who shed more than 1 tear knowing that we were nvr meant to be...
I am that ex, who still stalks around your house, violate your privacy, hack your student account, after breakup.
I am that ex, whom made your friends so pissed, for making them to promise to look after you over and over again.
I am that ex who still thinks you are good...just sorry I nvr understand you.
I am that ex which guilt still haunts for imprinting harsh words I never meant, into your memory.
Age 19:
I am that ex of yours who believes if I put enough effort into it, our expired love could be fermented into tasty friendship.
I am that successful patient who overcomed that traumatizing virus known as 'LOVE'.
I am that friend who will try his best to keep you guys happy. Thanks for depositing faith in me. The interests are better now, will definitely improve later. I wont fail you guys.
I am that man who thinks he is ready for another Cupid's arrow. Bring it on.
I am that grateful child, teen, ex and friend I am today. All thanks to you guys for walking down this pavement of growth with me.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Happy...2 Years Anniversary... NOT!
It has been 2 years...
still I remember that feeling of excitement aroused from just simply placing my hand upon velvety smooth palm...
The feeling... is remarkable...
As if she was meant for me...how my palm fits so perfectly into hers...
Her fair complexion captured my every attention without much consent of what is happening around the globe.
My world simply revolves around her's...
From that moment... I knew... we were meant to be together... as long as time allows...
Without much delay... I proposed an engagement...
waiting for her answer... seems like forever...
my heart stop beating for a very minute...
even lights travel slower in sight...i can see particles of air interacting with the glazing beam from the moonlight in slow motion...
And... her answer was...
as everyone expected... "YES!"
oohhh...... i leaped into the air crossing the atmosphere then the stratosphere and soon out of the ozone ... what a feeling!
without further delay...
I slip in our engagement sticker upon her index finger...
the gigantic initial 'P' upon her finger which signifies our love for one another.
It is against all odds that we finally reach this state of marriage...
this week...was our 2 years anniversary... finally i gathered enough courage to propose a further improvement in our relationship...
a marriage!
it didnt took long for her to agree...
I knew it in my mind...
After so much obstacles that we have went through side by side... together...
it's impossible for her to refuse my proposal...
The very nite, I bought her a bottle of perfume that serenades her beauty which blends in perfectly with her lavish appearance...
And the momentum integrates itself by the seconds as I anxiously waited for the marriage ceremony which involves me taking off our engagement sticker...
I placed my hands upon her beautiful fingers... every single one formed in perfection...
and peeled off the sticker...
We are finally together...for good...
It was our honeymoon nite...
I showered with her... o... the curve on her body... her anime-liked eyes...
I cant believe the fact that we are finally together for good...
She is simply... flawless...
The nite falls, I slipped into something that suits the occasion and went off with her...
She smelled so good... she's using the perfume I gave her...
I was so flattered... I smiled like a Paul Frank all the way to the destination.
Sigh, Mikel... u are right...
my blog is always sad...
leaves no exception for this entry as well...
disaster always have to head into my way...
and turn my world topsy turvy.
Finally I reached the destined location...Sri Petaling.
where the nite life is great and the food is good. A beautiful town colored by shimmering neon lights and profusely painted signboards. Ahh... what a perfect location to celebrate this historical moment...
We slowly cruise about to find a perfect spot to settle down for some serious talking... involving only her...and I...
We finally found a perfect spot! yes!!!! it was there!!!! We slowed down and to adjust our position so we could fit perfectly into the spot...and ..and... out of no where... a fury motorist charged into our direction and plunged his... his... *censored* ....thingie... .....ahhh!!!! I cant elaborate further!!!!!!!!!! I need time to heal from the trauma....
My wife pushed me away... and she took it into her arse....
AH!!!!!!! .... the pain.... was excruciating...
She did not scream...neither did she moan in pain... I knew... she just wanted me to feel better....
The motorist just speed off into the mist.... and never to be seen again....
The scar will always remain upon her arse...
It was our 2 years anniversary!!!! WHY DO U HAVE TO DO THIS TO HER?????????
WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO U OR UR FAMILY???????
Tears fell from my eyes...
Blood dripped from my heart...
She no longer perfect...
Neither flawless....
It was all my fault...
If i hadn't brought her to such dark areas within the city...
this would nvr have happened!!!!!
I'm sorry...
I'm sorry lou por...
...
For...give....
me...
still I remember that feeling of excitement aroused from just simply placing my hand upon velvety smooth palm...
The feeling... is remarkable...
As if she was meant for me...how my palm fits so perfectly into hers...
Her fair complexion captured my every attention without much consent of what is happening around the globe.
My world simply revolves around her's...
From that moment... I knew... we were meant to be together... as long as time allows...
Without much delay... I proposed an engagement...
waiting for her answer... seems like forever...
my heart stop beating for a very minute...
even lights travel slower in sight...i can see particles of air interacting with the glazing beam from the moonlight in slow motion...
And... her answer was...
as everyone expected... "YES!"
oohhh...... i leaped into the air crossing the atmosphere then the stratosphere and soon out of the ozone ... what a feeling!
without further delay...
I slip in our engagement sticker upon her index finger...
the gigantic initial 'P' upon her finger which signifies our love for one another.
It is against all odds that we finally reach this state of marriage...
this week...was our 2 years anniversary... finally i gathered enough courage to propose a further improvement in our relationship...
a marriage!
it didnt took long for her to agree...
I knew it in my mind...
After so much obstacles that we have went through side by side... together...
it's impossible for her to refuse my proposal...
The very nite, I bought her a bottle of perfume that serenades her beauty which blends in perfectly with her lavish appearance...
And the momentum integrates itself by the seconds as I anxiously waited for the marriage ceremony which involves me taking off our engagement sticker...
I placed my hands upon her beautiful fingers... every single one formed in perfection...
and peeled off the sticker...
We are finally together...for good...
It was our honeymoon nite...
I showered with her... o... the curve on her body... her anime-liked eyes...
I cant believe the fact that we are finally together for good...
She is simply... flawless...
The nite falls, I slipped into something that suits the occasion and went off with her...
She smelled so good... she's using the perfume I gave her...
I was so flattered... I smiled like a Paul Frank all the way to the destination.
Sigh, Mikel... u are right...
my blog is always sad...
leaves no exception for this entry as well...
disaster always have to head into my way...
and turn my world topsy turvy.
Finally I reached the destined location...Sri Petaling.
where the nite life is great and the food is good. A beautiful town colored by shimmering neon lights and profusely painted signboards. Ahh... what a perfect location to celebrate this historical moment...
We slowly cruise about to find a perfect spot to settle down for some serious talking... involving only her...and I...
We finally found a perfect spot! yes!!!! it was there!!!! We slowed down and to adjust our position so we could fit perfectly into the spot...and ..and... out of no where... a fury motorist charged into our direction and plunged his... his... *censored* ....thingie... .....ahhh!!!! I cant elaborate further!!!!!!!!!! I need time to heal from the trauma....
My wife pushed me away... and she took it into her arse....
AH!!!!!!! .... the pain.... was excruciating...
She did not scream...neither did she moan in pain... I knew... she just wanted me to feel better....
The motorist just speed off into the mist.... and never to be seen again....
The scar will always remain upon her arse...
It was our 2 years anniversary!!!! WHY DO U HAVE TO DO THIS TO HER?????????
WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO U OR UR FAMILY???????
Tears fell from my eyes...
Blood dripped from my heart...
She no longer perfect...
Neither flawless....
It was all my fault...
If i hadn't brought her to such dark areas within the city...
this would nvr have happened!!!!!
I'm sorry...
I'm sorry lou por...
...
For...give....
me...
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Friendship
Perpetual friendship has always been a propaganda to cheat innocent young souls into believing that they have actually found someone whom they could link with and the link between the two or more parties would last for eternity.
It has been a conspiracy all along.
At least not yours.
But definitely mine.
Friends came and go in my life.
Never before a single soul that I have encountered is willing to bare the pain of being my eternal friend.
Is it due to my awful scent that is capable of bring the deceased back from the dead?
Or my back-stabbing-appearance that deceived even the masters of conmen?
Sigh...
And then these few friends appeared and shed a dimn light upon my shadow casted past...
They are whom i regard as True friends.
Yet... Perpetual is such a heavy word that bares so much responsibility to uphold.
Friendship is never easy to upkeep.
Never to mention 8 years of friendship.
To a friend who thought of himself as insignificant in this tainted world of lies...
you have been living in a world of misconceptions all these while...
You are a part of my life. Current experience of life fully to the extend of 19 years...
you have occupied almost half of it... and you were among the greatest influencial power that came upon my life after Karl Marx's theory on 'equality to all'.
We are all blank sheets of papers upon birth. With every fall, adds another short verse into our life. And you my friend, have filled at least quater of the contents writen in my life.
Yes u have.
In the gaming section,
ranting section,
oh, and definitely the hall of fame for procrastinating.
And proud to say... u have been quoted, cited and placed in the bibliography corner... here... in my heart.
It does sounds gay. But heck...
Our friendship is at stake here...
6 years later... u might be a graduate working for the Royal Army or somewhere in Bosnia working for charity being a freelance doctor.
And I, hopefully working with world reknown architects from around the globe to construct the next big thing after the KLCC.
Never had the courage to send u off to KLIA.
I might be at a lost for words.
And u...probably would struggle to find something that could surge up a conversation.
Years later after we meet again...
The bond between our friendship... might be dusty, rusty... or ever broken.
Just like a really close fren of ours ...
PK...
having to reply me like a stranger...
Life is like a big screen play...rewinding itself from time to time...
If only i could access the remote...and pause it at the happiest moment of the show.
Already I can feel it.
It's like the previous scene that happened between us with PK.
We chat less,
go out less....
and eventually we ran out of topic...
In the end... we dont even bother to contact.
And soon... we are just old trash waiting to be deleted from the recycle bin.
Whatever it is...
A man gotta do...wut a man gotta do.
Indeed... it has been ur dream to break free...
to venture into the unknown.
To see world at its best, at its worst.
To experience the extreme of heat... and the most extreme of frost...
I bid u farewell my friend.
Perpetual friendship might seem like a fantasy...
But u will always... be treated as a true friend of mine.
All the best to you.
It has been a conspiracy all along.
At least not yours.
But definitely mine.
Friends came and go in my life.
Never before a single soul that I have encountered is willing to bare the pain of being my eternal friend.
Is it due to my awful scent that is capable of bring the deceased back from the dead?
Or my back-stabbing-appearance that deceived even the masters of conmen?
Sigh...
And then these few friends appeared and shed a dimn light upon my shadow casted past...
They are whom i regard as True friends.
Yet... Perpetual is such a heavy word that bares so much responsibility to uphold.
Friendship is never easy to upkeep.
Never to mention 8 years of friendship.
To a friend who thought of himself as insignificant in this tainted world of lies...
you have been living in a world of misconceptions all these while...
You are a part of my life. Current experience of life fully to the extend of 19 years...
you have occupied almost half of it... and you were among the greatest influencial power that came upon my life after Karl Marx's theory on 'equality to all'.
We are all blank sheets of papers upon birth. With every fall, adds another short verse into our life. And you my friend, have filled at least quater of the contents writen in my life.
Yes u have.
In the gaming section,
ranting section,
oh, and definitely the hall of fame for procrastinating.
And proud to say... u have been quoted, cited and placed in the bibliography corner... here... in my heart.
It does sounds gay. But heck...
Our friendship is at stake here...
6 years later... u might be a graduate working for the Royal Army or somewhere in Bosnia working for charity being a freelance doctor.
And I, hopefully working with world reknown architects from around the globe to construct the next big thing after the KLCC.
Never had the courage to send u off to KLIA.
I might be at a lost for words.
And u...probably would struggle to find something that could surge up a conversation.
Years later after we meet again...
The bond between our friendship... might be dusty, rusty... or ever broken.
Just like a really close fren of ours ...
PK...
having to reply me like a stranger...
Life is like a big screen play...rewinding itself from time to time...
If only i could access the remote...and pause it at the happiest moment of the show.
Already I can feel it.
It's like the previous scene that happened between us with PK.
We chat less,
go out less....
and eventually we ran out of topic...
In the end... we dont even bother to contact.
And soon... we are just old trash waiting to be deleted from the recycle bin.
Whatever it is...
A man gotta do...wut a man gotta do.
Indeed... it has been ur dream to break free...
to venture into the unknown.
To see world at its best, at its worst.
To experience the extreme of heat... and the most extreme of frost...
I bid u farewell my friend.
Perpetual friendship might seem like a fantasy...
But u will always... be treated as a true friend of mine.
All the best to you.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Rainy days...
Ever notice how romantic it is when it rains?
The fast-paced metropolis eventually slow down when it rains...
Pedestrians evacuate from the streets,
while cars step on their brake and reduce the stress on the acceleration pedal.
Everything is slower when it rains,
temperature decreases...
radio DJs switched their discs to something more sentimental.
Volume naturally get lowered... due to the interference done by waves of falling rain.
Thus people need to get up close to whisper in between the ears...
Some eventually cuddled to gain warmth...
Couples would then have to rinse in the rain together...
A perfect oppoturnity for guys to cast their next attack into the defensive carapace of a girl's heart.
You will see the couples squeezed into the small array that is beneath the umbrella/coat/newspaper... while some might see guys hasted in running to get their cars in order to make sure their gfs' are dry.
And if u observe closer...
u will get to see a guy, walking aimlessly under the rain.
With no sense of direction, he wanders...
Without an umbrella...
without haste...
"What's the rush?" he reflects...
"Where to go?" he questioned...
And there he stood...
for minutes...
for hours...
till the rain stops...
It was once told, in the creation of humankind,
god split the human into 2...
The male and the female.
One will only experience the true meaning of life when one manages to find their 2nd half.
Until then...
one will only remain...
.
.
.
incomplete...
*Backstreet boys - Incomplete *
The fast-paced metropolis eventually slow down when it rains...
Pedestrians evacuate from the streets,
while cars step on their brake and reduce the stress on the acceleration pedal.
Everything is slower when it rains,
temperature decreases...
radio DJs switched their discs to something more sentimental.
Volume naturally get lowered... due to the interference done by waves of falling rain.
Thus people need to get up close to whisper in between the ears...
Some eventually cuddled to gain warmth...
Couples would then have to rinse in the rain together...
A perfect oppoturnity for guys to cast their next attack into the defensive carapace of a girl's heart.
You will see the couples squeezed into the small array that is beneath the umbrella/coat/newspaper... while some might see guys hasted in running to get their cars in order to make sure their gfs' are dry.
And if u observe closer...
u will get to see a guy, walking aimlessly under the rain.
With no sense of direction, he wanders...
Without an umbrella...
without haste...
"What's the rush?" he reflects...
"Where to go?" he questioned...
And there he stood...
for minutes...
for hours...
till the rain stops...
It was once told, in the creation of humankind,
god split the human into 2...
The male and the female.
One will only experience the true meaning of life when one manages to find their 2nd half.
Until then...
one will only remain...
.
.
.
incomplete...
*Backstreet boys - Incomplete *
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Missing You.
Have you ever missed someone?
Someone with great significance, that every detail in life tends to be in lower resolutions without his/her pressence?
Someone who kept you awake all night long in grieving pain feeling insecure, doubtful of his/her well being?
These feelings don't stand to contribute much in production, it just lowers down productivity. Ironically, there's nothing much we can do about it.
We could try a different approach in solving this, say... calling that particular person?
Asking that particular person for a long session of teh tarik?
But how many would opt to pay for telephone bills with astronomical figures?
My parents definitely wont.
And how long could the mamaks stand out in "tariking" their tehs before fatigue sets in.
Is there any absolute solution to this?
Some would opt for a freedom-based relationship where couples do not tie each other up with their time and companies as they felt socializing is a necessity and not a surplus of daily activities.
Others tend to stick to their partners as if their partners were lifeguards and they, themselves played the role of helpless victims stranded in the sea.
When favouring a person, turned into obsession, things get really ugly when events occured.
What sort of events?
Events in which relationships were put into test by their obsessed partners in deep state of paranoia, fearing their other half loved them less, even worse... dont love them anymore!!!!
NULL!!!
KOSONG!
TAK ADA LAGI!!!
And there are also consequences for spending too much time with a particular person. You might tend to lose friends in the process as they too believe in the spirit of 'give n take'.
With you spending too much time with a particular person and neglecting others, you are only giving to a single person and taking from your friends.
That aint fair!
Isn't it ironic?
Yet that does not serve as an excuse to find a state of equilibrium, where care, concern, and companionship are evenly distributed among important people in your life.
Then another dilemma sets in... if everyone is equal... what is the significance in being your soulmate than your fren?
Alas, time and care and love, should be distributed according to weight. Not the mass of your body as in... Zen weighs like 65 kg thus he should be cared more compare to Koe which is like 55 kg. WRONG WRONG WRONG. Weight as in...importance in a person's heart.
Even distributing time requires abundance of human understanding knowledge and proper practice to reach perfection. If put into mathematics, there would be like a dictionary of continual equation filled with multipliers, factors, co-factors, deriviation, exponentiality and so on and so forth...
Maybe my dear friend Kristof could come up with a shorter equation for this.
Humankind is beyond understanding.
We are just a contradicted bunch in general.
Life aint easy i can tell you that.
And definitely not simple. I can view it in a childish way, where trees are just trees, without much consideration if that tree grows fruit for me to eat, if that tree is productive, if it's aesthetical in the middle of the road, if it is blocking the road. But the problems would still be there even if I dont spend time on it reflecting on solutions.
From what my past experience taught me, I learned to distribute my time more evenly now.
Yet at times, i still stumble upon a pond of quicksand pulling me deeper into mistakes. Mistakes which I spent so much commitment in not to do again.
Making a mistake is a chance for one to learn,
but making the same mistake twice is just plain stupidity.
I dont want to miss a person so much... especially someone whom i think dont hold a place for me in her heart.
Maybe she does... in that dusty corner there in her heart filled with spider webs and skeletal remains of fore prisoners before me.
She held me captured...
Why waste time missing someone who doesnt even give a damn about you?
That's beyond my understanding as well.
I just cant help it.
Sometimes it feels good to actually miss someone.
The prize came in when he/she actually misses you in return.
In my case, the prize is not there, so are the judge, and the spectator.
Just me...
Myself....
And I
.
.
.
on the stage...
with the sleeping piano...
and the resting curtain.
Someone with great significance, that every detail in life tends to be in lower resolutions without his/her pressence?
Someone who kept you awake all night long in grieving pain feeling insecure, doubtful of his/her well being?
These feelings don't stand to contribute much in production, it just lowers down productivity. Ironically, there's nothing much we can do about it.
We could try a different approach in solving this, say... calling that particular person?
Asking that particular person for a long session of teh tarik?
But how many would opt to pay for telephone bills with astronomical figures?
My parents definitely wont.
And how long could the mamaks stand out in "tariking" their tehs before fatigue sets in.
Is there any absolute solution to this?
Some would opt for a freedom-based relationship where couples do not tie each other up with their time and companies as they felt socializing is a necessity and not a surplus of daily activities.
Others tend to stick to their partners as if their partners were lifeguards and they, themselves played the role of helpless victims stranded in the sea.
When favouring a person, turned into obsession, things get really ugly when events occured.
What sort of events?
Events in which relationships were put into test by their obsessed partners in deep state of paranoia, fearing their other half loved them less, even worse... dont love them anymore!!!!
NULL!!!
KOSONG!
TAK ADA LAGI!!!
And there are also consequences for spending too much time with a particular person. You might tend to lose friends in the process as they too believe in the spirit of 'give n take'.
With you spending too much time with a particular person and neglecting others, you are only giving to a single person and taking from your friends.
That aint fair!
Isn't it ironic?
Yet that does not serve as an excuse to find a state of equilibrium, where care, concern, and companionship are evenly distributed among important people in your life.
Then another dilemma sets in... if everyone is equal... what is the significance in being your soulmate than your fren?
Alas, time and care and love, should be distributed according to weight. Not the mass of your body as in... Zen weighs like 65 kg thus he should be cared more compare to Koe which is like 55 kg. WRONG WRONG WRONG. Weight as in...importance in a person's heart.
Even distributing time requires abundance of human understanding knowledge and proper practice to reach perfection. If put into mathematics, there would be like a dictionary of continual equation filled with multipliers, factors, co-factors, deriviation, exponentiality and so on and so forth...
Maybe my dear friend Kristof could come up with a shorter equation for this.
Humankind is beyond understanding.
We are just a contradicted bunch in general.
Life aint easy i can tell you that.
And definitely not simple. I can view it in a childish way, where trees are just trees, without much consideration if that tree grows fruit for me to eat, if that tree is productive, if it's aesthetical in the middle of the road, if it is blocking the road. But the problems would still be there even if I dont spend time on it reflecting on solutions.
From what my past experience taught me, I learned to distribute my time more evenly now.
Yet at times, i still stumble upon a pond of quicksand pulling me deeper into mistakes. Mistakes which I spent so much commitment in not to do again.
Making a mistake is a chance for one to learn,
but making the same mistake twice is just plain stupidity.
I dont want to miss a person so much... especially someone whom i think dont hold a place for me in her heart.
Maybe she does... in that dusty corner there in her heart filled with spider webs and skeletal remains of fore prisoners before me.
She held me captured...
Why waste time missing someone who doesnt even give a damn about you?
That's beyond my understanding as well.
I just cant help it.
Sometimes it feels good to actually miss someone.
The prize came in when he/she actually misses you in return.
In my case, the prize is not there, so are the judge, and the spectator.
Just me...
Myself....
And I
.
.
.
on the stage...
with the sleeping piano...
and the resting curtain.
Friday, July 22, 2005
Too Late
After some time...(5 months)
I finally made up my mind...(Kinda late now)
She is the girl, and I really want to make her mine...
I'm searching everywhere...(Mainly places I think she'd go)
To find her again.
To tell her I love her...(Doesnt really matter now to her)
And I'm sorry bout the things I've done...(Too late...)
I find her standing in front of the church.
The only place in town i didnt search.(I lived in a metropolis lar)
She look so happy in her wedding dress...
But she's crying when she's saying this : -
BOY I MISS UR KISSES... ALL THE TIME BUT THIS IS...
25 MINUTES TOO LATE!
THOUGH U TRAVEL SO FAR...
BOY I'M SORRY U ARE...
25 MINUTES TOO LATE...
Too late to know regret...
Too late to feel pain...
(MLTR - 25 minutes)
Behind every person lies a story. Behind every good song lies a tale.
3rd silly thing so far for this week.
1. Pretended to ignore...(failed badly)
2. Played with the lift...
3. Waited... ended up as what I expected.
Guess I'm just too late. Not 25 minutes...
5 months too late. Definitely...
I finally made up my mind...(Kinda late now)
She is the girl, and I really want to make her mine...
I'm searching everywhere...(Mainly places I think she'd go)
To find her again.
To tell her I love her...(Doesnt really matter now to her)
And I'm sorry bout the things I've done...(Too late...)
I find her standing in front of the church.
The only place in town i didnt search.(I lived in a metropolis lar)
She look so happy in her wedding dress...
But she's crying when she's saying this : -
BOY I MISS UR KISSES... ALL THE TIME BUT THIS IS...
25 MINUTES TOO LATE!
THOUGH U TRAVEL SO FAR...
BOY I'M SORRY U ARE...
25 MINUTES TOO LATE...
Too late to know regret...
Too late to feel pain...
(MLTR - 25 minutes)
Behind every person lies a story. Behind every good song lies a tale.
3rd silly thing so far for this week.
1. Pretended to ignore...(failed badly)
2. Played with the lift...
3. Waited... ended up as what I expected.
Guess I'm just too late. Not 25 minutes...
5 months too late. Definitely...
Saturday, July 16, 2005
You Scratch My Back Then I'll Scratch Yours
So... What is respect?
According to www.dictionary.com
respect brings the meaning of
Meaning 1
1.To feel or show deferential regard for; esteem.
Dear extremist, you managed to show a certain level of deferential regard for my social affairs with frens whom i deem unworthy to keep in touch with.
However, you failed to comply with the essence of respect. Esteem.
Esteem - the condition of being honored
Not only did u jeopardized respect, you even jeopardized my point of view in life.
A suggestion is an option given for ppl to choose from, thus refusing to take a suggestion is not a crime nor a violation of respect and definitely should not be put as "not willing to be enlightened."
If every suggestion were to be taken, that makes it a compulsary statement and not a suggestion.
Enlighten - To give spiritual or intellectual insight to
Dear extremist, having some sort amount of confidence is good, but too much makes u arrogant.
Do you happen to have similar experience as what I have overcome and evidence to show that you had overcame it better than I did? If not, how worthy do you deem yourself to be on claiming that I refuse to choose the happier way out?
Happiness had always been a subjective matter. To some, eating a cup of ice-cream a day deems to be more than heaven itself. While some take ice-cream as a creation of the devil itself.
How can 2 opinions vary so much from one another?
Which deems to be right?
We would nvr know. while one is enjoying from the tasty bit of ice-cream, another is suffering from its cold dental frost bites.
I find staying good friends with hypocrites is an act of hypocrisy itself. Maybe you can see higher than that. You find being good friends with them grant you power to another universe or even beyond that. But I cant feel that. I cant feel the orgasmic joy you're feeling. You can tell me how good it is. But I'll never know. As I am one of the few victims of birth who suffers frost bite everytime we eat an ice-cream.
Good for you, if you get to experience the taste of joy out of being good friends with him. But I don't.
Now we move on the meaning 2 of the word respect.
2.To avoid violation of or interference with: respect the speed limit.
Ahh... to avoid violation or interference with. Dear extremist, with all do respect, have you been avoiding the interference you are doing? Are you now passing a judgement on me?
Am I now inferior as I failed to see things the way you see?
You had'nt respected my decision and you are even making a judgement that I have not been giving a chance to him.
He will always be a friend. But no longer a good friend. A "hi-bye" friend perhaps.
If he wishes to say sorry, he will.
I have been sitting there, answering questions he threw at me politely without much concern of the past damage he had inflicted on me. Is that not giving a chance for him to apologise?
He can ask me out for a tea session where there's only me and him. A place suitable enough to solve our conflicts. Has he done that? Or tried to?
The chance is always there. Whether he takes it or not, that is up to him. And never mine.
I went through your suggestion, but I just have too much conflicting rebutal points in my tiny lil mind, insignificant to yours, telling me that there's nothing more I can do. Thus I followed my very own decision.
If you wish to continue this argument...
Go on... maybe one day... you will suceed in enlightening my insignificant mind. Proving everything you said is true.
But for now, dear extremist, respect my decision. Respect me.
Respect is mutual my friend.
You always manage to come up with insulting remarks on my other friends and sometimes... even on me. But you still have my respect. And my friendship forever.
Only due to one reason, because u're true.
Hypocrites... a-ah *shakes head non-chalantly*.... not my type.
According to www.dictionary.com
respect brings the meaning of
Meaning 1
1.To feel or show deferential regard for; esteem.
Dear extremist, you managed to show a certain level of deferential regard for my social affairs with frens whom i deem unworthy to keep in touch with.
However, you failed to comply with the essence of respect. Esteem.
Esteem - the condition of being honored
Not only did u jeopardized respect, you even jeopardized my point of view in life.
A suggestion is an option given for ppl to choose from, thus refusing to take a suggestion is not a crime nor a violation of respect and definitely should not be put as "not willing to be enlightened."
If every suggestion were to be taken, that makes it a compulsary statement and not a suggestion.
Enlighten - To give spiritual or intellectual insight to
Dear extremist, having some sort amount of confidence is good, but too much makes u arrogant.
Do you happen to have similar experience as what I have overcome and evidence to show that you had overcame it better than I did? If not, how worthy do you deem yourself to be on claiming that I refuse to choose the happier way out?
Happiness had always been a subjective matter. To some, eating a cup of ice-cream a day deems to be more than heaven itself. While some take ice-cream as a creation of the devil itself.
How can 2 opinions vary so much from one another?
Which deems to be right?
We would nvr know. while one is enjoying from the tasty bit of ice-cream, another is suffering from its cold dental frost bites.
I find staying good friends with hypocrites is an act of hypocrisy itself. Maybe you can see higher than that. You find being good friends with them grant you power to another universe or even beyond that. But I cant feel that. I cant feel the orgasmic joy you're feeling. You can tell me how good it is. But I'll never know. As I am one of the few victims of birth who suffers frost bite everytime we eat an ice-cream.
Good for you, if you get to experience the taste of joy out of being good friends with him. But I don't.
Now we move on the meaning 2 of the word respect.
2.To avoid violation of or interference with: respect the speed limit.
Ahh... to avoid violation or interference with. Dear extremist, with all do respect, have you been avoiding the interference you are doing? Are you now passing a judgement on me?
Am I now inferior as I failed to see things the way you see?
You had'nt respected my decision and you are even making a judgement that I have not been giving a chance to him.
He will always be a friend. But no longer a good friend. A "hi-bye" friend perhaps.
If he wishes to say sorry, he will.
I have been sitting there, answering questions he threw at me politely without much concern of the past damage he had inflicted on me. Is that not giving a chance for him to apologise?
He can ask me out for a tea session where there's only me and him. A place suitable enough to solve our conflicts. Has he done that? Or tried to?
The chance is always there. Whether he takes it or not, that is up to him. And never mine.
I went through your suggestion, but I just have too much conflicting rebutal points in my tiny lil mind, insignificant to yours, telling me that there's nothing more I can do. Thus I followed my very own decision.
If you wish to continue this argument...
Go on... maybe one day... you will suceed in enlightening my insignificant mind. Proving everything you said is true.
But for now, dear extremist, respect my decision. Respect me.
Respect is mutual my friend.
You always manage to come up with insulting remarks on my other friends and sometimes... even on me. But you still have my respect. And my friendship forever.
Only due to one reason, because u're true.
Hypocrites... a-ah *shakes head non-chalantly*.... not my type.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Self Evaluation
1. Naive
2. Self centered
3. Envious
4. Stubborn
5. Liar
6. Lustful
7. Argumentive
8. Brutal
9. Boring
10. Pretentious.
Zen... u're all of the above.
Zen: Yes... I know... I shall chg.
2. Self centered
3. Envious
4. Stubborn
5. Liar
6. Lustful
7. Argumentive
8. Brutal
9. Boring
10. Pretentious.
Zen... u're all of the above.
Zen: Yes... I know... I shall chg.
Monday, July 04, 2005
Easier Said Than Done
It is often easy to give certain ppl a few advice on what to do in their current lifes and affairs. Yet the dilemma often remains where ppl find it difficult to follow into their very own advice to ppl.
The right choice is often seen yet not carefully taken.
Why are we so contradicted?
To gain one's trust and respect, one must very well serve the leading role of practicing what was taught to others.
If you were a soldier at war...
Will you hand in your very own life on a commander who isn't capable of wielding his own gun?
The irony here is that ppl seem to understand this very basic rule of leadership yet many fail greatly in doing so.
My parents... had been ranting about my achievements for the past 19 years...
Back in primary... scoring straight A's in UPSR seems to be the biggest thing next to owning your very own set of gundam mech warriors collection.
I can feel the envious look in my schoolmates eyes as I happily wave my result sheet in the air, dancing my way back home like there's no tomorrow.
As I approach the front gate... I wonder what my parents had installed for my dignified moment of wonderous achievement.
As I wave my results in my parents eyes... they seem stagnent..
The tv holds a greater magnetic force than their very own son's dedicated effort in making his parents happy...
The waving continues till I manage to catch the attention...
Woohoo! My mom responded.
An anxious lil boy i was, posing my favourite peace sign and await their praises...
To the readers' surprise... they gave no awe inspiring speech nor moral support...
However... she did say this...
"Do you even read the papers? There are kids out there who achieves results of 7 to 8A's in a single UPSR sheet? Your so called achievement is overshadowed by their very existence. Hold no arrogance, you are still very naive."
The feeling of happiness swept away in a tsunami of sarcasm and discouraging lecture...
I stay stranded in an island in the middle of an ocean.
Then there was this one time i scored 2nd highest in class...
I was among the hand full of pioneers who went beyond where men fear to explore.
To pursue into the higher ground which is the best class of the school standard. The "A" class.
Where eligible personel of iq 120 or higher is given a priority of entrance.
The night before parents day, I smile my way to sleep thinking how my parents will be overwhelmed by my outstanding improvement.
Yet... 2nd does not seem to be their ideal number for a son.
what they have in mind... is 1st.
So... this is the part where I am suppose to explain how they broke my heart...
My dad went...
"If it werent for your classmates downfall in their performance, u would never even gain a place in the finalists. Begrateful of what u have today. It's just luck."
While mom goes...
"Why not first?"
...but...
If it was luck... why did everyone had a downfall in performance yet I show improvement?
Never did they thought of other alternatives toward this phenomenon of their son achiving beyong their expectations.
Could it be - tough exam questions which pulled everyone down but not him?
Could it be - son's borderless effort which touched the very heart of gods?
The 2 above... are just a few short series of unfortunate events which came landing in my door every now and then for the past 19 years.
Heartbreak after heartbreak... still i manage to survive.
Love for my parents is no longer valid.
The purpose of obeying is due to respect and gratefulness of what they have given me.
Love serves no purpose in their life no more.
What they want is not a son who loves them, but a son who is above clouds who could soar like an eagle where the world would be clouded by his gigantum span of wings.
My life as a child in Koe's serve much more as the purpose of a race dog more than a love-deserving kid who needs care and love.
Everyday I receive rants of which uncle's kid have a greater achievement or some auntie's daughter who did better than me and the fact of her being a girl that I should be put to shame.
Haha...
Discouraging words... hurtful remarks... left my heart with scars and wounds beyong healing.
Just a few days back... a fall on the back left traces of fractures on the joint of the hip bone and the back bone.
Reaching home, immediately told my mom of my fall and in hope love will avail this time.
At a spontaneous rate, she scolded me for my silly fall, and blame it on my pants which is few cms too long...
the scolding continues till we reach the clinic...
The pain is excruciating. not the one on my back... but the one in my head...
Has she no heart and sympathy for her son?
For her third son at least...
At the registration counter... she actually asked me... on which very day was i given birth to...
my mom? asking me that?
While she remembers her 2nd son's birth, husband's birth...youngest son birth... yet neglecting mine?
She got angry at me for not obeying her orders to see a bone specialist...
As I told her, I only wanted to save her money by visiting a clinic doctor to see if my fall is in need of a specialist's attention.
Indeed the fall was minor and leave no possible side effects or threat to my future life as a dignified man.
Yet she was so angry... she hesitated in paying my medical fees.
Thus... I paid it myself.
Hurtful events came pouring in wave after wave on that memorable nite, when i was rushed into a nearby clinic by a caring fren for having a pair of infected eyes.
A minor infection which got my eyes swollen and eyes red as blood like those seen in vampire movies.
Rm 60 for the midnight medication for it is double pricing after 12.
On the very next morning... i presented my mom with my medical prove of an eye infection and the bill of Rm 60 hoping she would either pay me back the sum of rm 60 or even care how bad was the infection.
K. U guessed it... she said something real hurtful again...
"U wasted so much on a few eye drops? There are medicines in the fridge, did u mind looking?"
and scurried into the kitchen with no regards of my feelings nor infection.
And the Rm 60? haha... in your dreams if she's ever giving it back to me!
Frens gave useful advices on how to improve our relationship and on what to do... and that i should forgive my parents as they were there to care.
Easier said than done.
Have u ever been in my shoes?
being put down time after time is bad enough...now with the absence of love, i held no purpose of staying under this roof where i am busily blogging.
Just like my parents...
They enjoy being preachers... saints... which did lil wrong things thus hold the rights to scold u for your every wrong doings... and to lead u... to their very way of problem countering methods.
My parents are no saints... no gods...
They are ordinary ppl like u n me.
and like ordinary ppl... we contradict ourselves and hold no absolute power to prove someone wrong of their doings.
Their primary objective... is to prove everything i did... was nvr right... and what they held installed for me... is the best alternative .
They made me sinked further down into the underdark abyss....
where no lights were seem visible.
even the dimmest of light for me now... is a gift beyond description.
Just 3 more years...
I just have to bare 3 more years under this roof with them...
And i'm off to Melbourne or Singapore.
Anywhere in the world seems worthy for me... with the absence of my discouraging parents.
The right choice is often seen yet not carefully taken.
Why are we so contradicted?
To gain one's trust and respect, one must very well serve the leading role of practicing what was taught to others.
If you were a soldier at war...
Will you hand in your very own life on a commander who isn't capable of wielding his own gun?
The irony here is that ppl seem to understand this very basic rule of leadership yet many fail greatly in doing so.
My parents... had been ranting about my achievements for the past 19 years...
Back in primary... scoring straight A's in UPSR seems to be the biggest thing next to owning your very own set of gundam mech warriors collection.
I can feel the envious look in my schoolmates eyes as I happily wave my result sheet in the air, dancing my way back home like there's no tomorrow.
As I approach the front gate... I wonder what my parents had installed for my dignified moment of wonderous achievement.
As I wave my results in my parents eyes... they seem stagnent..
The tv holds a greater magnetic force than their very own son's dedicated effort in making his parents happy...
The waving continues till I manage to catch the attention...
Woohoo! My mom responded.
An anxious lil boy i was, posing my favourite peace sign and await their praises...
To the readers' surprise... they gave no awe inspiring speech nor moral support...
However... she did say this...
"Do you even read the papers? There are kids out there who achieves results of 7 to 8A's in a single UPSR sheet? Your so called achievement is overshadowed by their very existence. Hold no arrogance, you are still very naive."
The feeling of happiness swept away in a tsunami of sarcasm and discouraging lecture...
I stay stranded in an island in the middle of an ocean.
Then there was this one time i scored 2nd highest in class...
I was among the hand full of pioneers who went beyond where men fear to explore.
To pursue into the higher ground which is the best class of the school standard. The "A" class.
Where eligible personel of iq 120 or higher is given a priority of entrance.
The night before parents day, I smile my way to sleep thinking how my parents will be overwhelmed by my outstanding improvement.
Yet... 2nd does not seem to be their ideal number for a son.
what they have in mind... is 1st.
So... this is the part where I am suppose to explain how they broke my heart...
My dad went...
"If it werent for your classmates downfall in their performance, u would never even gain a place in the finalists. Begrateful of what u have today. It's just luck."
While mom goes...
"Why not first?"
...but...
If it was luck... why did everyone had a downfall in performance yet I show improvement?
Never did they thought of other alternatives toward this phenomenon of their son achiving beyong their expectations.
Could it be - tough exam questions which pulled everyone down but not him?
Could it be - son's borderless effort which touched the very heart of gods?
The 2 above... are just a few short series of unfortunate events which came landing in my door every now and then for the past 19 years.
Heartbreak after heartbreak... still i manage to survive.
Love for my parents is no longer valid.
The purpose of obeying is due to respect and gratefulness of what they have given me.
Love serves no purpose in their life no more.
What they want is not a son who loves them, but a son who is above clouds who could soar like an eagle where the world would be clouded by his gigantum span of wings.
My life as a child in Koe's serve much more as the purpose of a race dog more than a love-deserving kid who needs care and love.
Everyday I receive rants of which uncle's kid have a greater achievement or some auntie's daughter who did better than me and the fact of her being a girl that I should be put to shame.
Haha...
Discouraging words... hurtful remarks... left my heart with scars and wounds beyong healing.
Just a few days back... a fall on the back left traces of fractures on the joint of the hip bone and the back bone.
Reaching home, immediately told my mom of my fall and in hope love will avail this time.
At a spontaneous rate, she scolded me for my silly fall, and blame it on my pants which is few cms too long...
the scolding continues till we reach the clinic...
The pain is excruciating. not the one on my back... but the one in my head...
Has she no heart and sympathy for her son?
For her third son at least...
At the registration counter... she actually asked me... on which very day was i given birth to...
my mom? asking me that?
While she remembers her 2nd son's birth, husband's birth...youngest son birth... yet neglecting mine?
She got angry at me for not obeying her orders to see a bone specialist...
As I told her, I only wanted to save her money by visiting a clinic doctor to see if my fall is in need of a specialist's attention.
Indeed the fall was minor and leave no possible side effects or threat to my future life as a dignified man.
Yet she was so angry... she hesitated in paying my medical fees.
Thus... I paid it myself.
Hurtful events came pouring in wave after wave on that memorable nite, when i was rushed into a nearby clinic by a caring fren for having a pair of infected eyes.
A minor infection which got my eyes swollen and eyes red as blood like those seen in vampire movies.
Rm 60 for the midnight medication for it is double pricing after 12.
On the very next morning... i presented my mom with my medical prove of an eye infection and the bill of Rm 60 hoping she would either pay me back the sum of rm 60 or even care how bad was the infection.
K. U guessed it... she said something real hurtful again...
"U wasted so much on a few eye drops? There are medicines in the fridge, did u mind looking?"
and scurried into the kitchen with no regards of my feelings nor infection.
And the Rm 60? haha... in your dreams if she's ever giving it back to me!
Frens gave useful advices on how to improve our relationship and on what to do... and that i should forgive my parents as they were there to care.
Easier said than done.
Have u ever been in my shoes?
being put down time after time is bad enough...now with the absence of love, i held no purpose of staying under this roof where i am busily blogging.
Just like my parents...
They enjoy being preachers... saints... which did lil wrong things thus hold the rights to scold u for your every wrong doings... and to lead u... to their very way of problem countering methods.
My parents are no saints... no gods...
They are ordinary ppl like u n me.
and like ordinary ppl... we contradict ourselves and hold no absolute power to prove someone wrong of their doings.
Their primary objective... is to prove everything i did... was nvr right... and what they held installed for me... is the best alternative .
They made me sinked further down into the underdark abyss....
where no lights were seem visible.
even the dimmest of light for me now... is a gift beyond description.
Just 3 more years...
I just have to bare 3 more years under this roof with them...
And i'm off to Melbourne or Singapore.
Anywhere in the world seems worthy for me... with the absence of my discouraging parents.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
From The Bottom of My Broken Heart
When I fell to the lowest moment of my life...
It was u i turned to...
Now that u're gone...
Will there be another sanctuary for my retreat...away from all judgements...
away from all sorrows...
miss u so much... these 3 words i wish to whisper into ur perfectly shaped ear...
"Pls come back"
...
Never look back we said...
how was i to know...
i'd miss u so.
Loneliness up ahead...
emptiness behind ... where do i go?
And u didnt hear all my joy through my tears...
all my hopes through my fears...
did u know???
Still i miss u so much...
From the bottom of my broken heart...
there's just a thing or 2 i'd like u to know..
u were my first love...
u were my true love...
from the first kiss till the very last rose...
From the bottom of my broken heart...
Even if time could find me somebody knew...
U were my real love...
I never knew love...
Till i found u......
From the bottom of my broken heart...
Baby i said pls stay...
Give our love a chance for 1 more day...
We could have worked things out..
tking time is what love's all about...
but u put a dart...
through my dreams through my heart...
and i'm back where i started again...
nvr thought it would end...
....
sigh...
...
..
.
.
.
Weak...
...
.
.
There is no ignorance...
There is love.
It was u i turned to...
Now that u're gone...
Will there be another sanctuary for my retreat...away from all judgements...
away from all sorrows...
miss u so much... these 3 words i wish to whisper into ur perfectly shaped ear...
"Pls come back"
...
Never look back we said...
how was i to know...
i'd miss u so.
Loneliness up ahead...
emptiness behind ... where do i go?
And u didnt hear all my joy through my tears...
all my hopes through my fears...
did u know???
Still i miss u so much...
From the bottom of my broken heart...
there's just a thing or 2 i'd like u to know..
u were my first love...
u were my true love...
from the first kiss till the very last rose...
From the bottom of my broken heart...
Even if time could find me somebody knew...
U were my real love...
I never knew love...
Till i found u......
From the bottom of my broken heart...
Baby i said pls stay...
Give our love a chance for 1 more day...
We could have worked things out..
tking time is what love's all about...
but u put a dart...
through my dreams through my heart...
and i'm back where i started again...
nvr thought it would end...
....
sigh...
...
..
.
.
.
Weak...
...
.
.
There is no ignorance...
There is love.
Friday, April 22, 2005
Just an SMS Expresses Care.
It hurts knowing someone who had been through what u had, kept scolding u with words of advise that makes u want to smash the monitor screen.
All I have in mind is that she would help me keep an eye on her.
U dont have to call or have a long session of talk.
Just few SMSes u could know her condition and give in support.
Wonders of the 21st century.
Yet, I got pissed at, angry at, and hung up on.
U stick a knife into my gut and expect me to get sporting about it to smile and react spontaneously with acceptance of every subject u said?
Ya, I knew I should let go.
But I still care about her.
I have my new life now.
But I really really really wish she is doing well there.
Thus I cant find her myself.
Why u never try to understand my condition while I thought we've been through this together before?
Why...
Am I difficult to reason with?
Was I given a chance to defend myself?
Sigh, good luck with everything u do.
All I have in mind is that she would help me keep an eye on her.
U dont have to call or have a long session of talk.
Just few SMSes u could know her condition and give in support.
Wonders of the 21st century.
Yet, I got pissed at, angry at, and hung up on.
U stick a knife into my gut and expect me to get sporting about it to smile and react spontaneously with acceptance of every subject u said?
Ya, I knew I should let go.
But I still care about her.
I have my new life now.
But I really really really wish she is doing well there.
Thus I cant find her myself.
Why u never try to understand my condition while I thought we've been through this together before?
Why...
Am I difficult to reason with?
Was I given a chance to defend myself?
Sigh, good luck with everything u do.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Respect is Mutual?
Once upon a time, lived 3 good buddies.
An extremist who practices logicism, a dreamer who can't seems to have his own stance of opinion and finally an idealist who just wants to take things easy in his life long pursue of supremacy.
First off, how could the extremist be the best fren of the dreamer u ask?
Second of all, they seem to be 3 majorly different characteristic of life, what bonds their eternal frenship?
The extremist, one who is objective towards every conversation, wishing to conduct a fruitful conversation where logic perceived.
On the other hand, the dreamer is rather subjective towards ... er... towards anything i guess.
He is willing to comprehend with others in morphing into a suitable life form to fit into the conversation.
Finally, the idealist, filled with ideas, but what he had in mind is simple, to achieved his life long goal of being one with the legends, but in the process he prefers to take things easy and to stay calm and relax at all cause.
Being raised in different eviromental condition, 3 very different men were given birth to.
And so happens, fate brought these 3 different men into a crossroad of their life, where they 3 met and learn about one another.
One day, the extremist got in a fight with the idealist. It all started with a simple line of "my head hurts" in cantonese that is, while the extremist is conducting his lecture of logicism.
The extremist made an attempt to pass judgement upon the ill idealist claiming that he is nothing but an ignorant fool of society.
Confused and pissed idealist, fought back in chasing after the very actual reasoning behind the extremist's judgement. He did it in anger of course.
The extremist exclaimed that no matter what the idealist have in reason of exclaiming a line of "his head hurts" is simply rude towards one who is conducting a conversation.
The idealist cools down and hope to reason with the extremist. Finally they both came with a mutual understanding and they drank their ale in peace.
I wished it was all that simple.
Dear extremist,
Respect is indeed mutual. But have u ever come to a consideration if u are mutually respecting others of their opinions and state of feelings and trauma of certain sensitive issues?
Dear extremist,
Both dreamer and idealist apprectiates your opinion and advise oncertain aspect of issues which u deem right. But sometimes u pushed too far. What differs between advise and excessive mockery is merely seperated by a thin silk bra lace.
Drilling in personal claims into one's thinking is definitely not a form of advise.
U have put in mental brute force.
In this example, u are not respecting others but only people u deem worthy of ur respect.
Contradiction comes in when u wish that respect could be given to u at all cause yet u made a wade attempt in preserving mutuality.
What deems u the worthiness of judging others while u urself contradicts ur very own logic?
Both dreamer and idealist tried to pass on our opinions, yet most seems to be weakly supported thus never placed in dear extremist's consideration.
But there are times where you; yourself never gave us a chance to slice in our very piece of idea into your plate of logic.
People are complicated molecular structures formed on earth. What complicates us would definitely be our power generating instability.
A simple kiss, a simple hug or merely a simple call could easily turn a mice into a lion.
Yet at certain occasions, a simple thought, a simple criticism could bring the lion lower than ant itself.
These are all caused by the very same factor. Feelings.
Dear extremist, by obstructing our fruitless attempts of presenting our very own idea, we can very well fall into a state of depression and shaking our very weak foundation of confidence made out of 2nd class timber.
You may not notice on the way u treated people as we never seldom speak with a mirror projection of ourselves.
People are different we exclaimed. So let it be we advised. Dear extremist, you do stereotype. In a way, u gave the least respect to strangers who dress unaccordingly using ur basis of reasoning to judge.
And what made ur reasonings the most precise and comprehensive?
There are never the best answer, nor the best idea and definitely, the most correct thought.
All above are merely the best solution for the very instance.
It is because of differences among human, we would be able to perceived higher understanding of the universe. By trying to unify human's thought, we are limiting ideologies, philosophies, and ideas.
Why the silly attempt of wishing that everyone is the same?
Or have u fallen into deep into the quicksand of the majority populace?
U are also giving in towards the fear of being different.
Are u not trying to convert friends into the so called "different" minority?
By trying to convert them, u are building them into a larger minority, which leads to majority.
I hope you understand what i mean.
If respect is above all mutual... I wish the mutuality lasts.
The idealist only threw temper due to his extreme tireness and frustration. He only went to relax, never the mean of being judged or exclaimed to be rude by his dearest of frens.
All these have been unspoken thoughts u obstructed through out our life long conduct of conversations. And let me claim that all happens to my very own personal thoughts. Never the dreamer's involvement.
Nah, u should have guessed it.
Something never chg, the dreamer is still above stilts, never before on still grounds where he can support a definite idea.
Maybe that is what made him special.
Maybe the one who truly understands the beauty of reasoning is him?
Take care.
An extremist who practices logicism, a dreamer who can't seems to have his own stance of opinion and finally an idealist who just wants to take things easy in his life long pursue of supremacy.
First off, how could the extremist be the best fren of the dreamer u ask?
Second of all, they seem to be 3 majorly different characteristic of life, what bonds their eternal frenship?
The extremist, one who is objective towards every conversation, wishing to conduct a fruitful conversation where logic perceived.
On the other hand, the dreamer is rather subjective towards ... er... towards anything i guess.
He is willing to comprehend with others in morphing into a suitable life form to fit into the conversation.
Finally, the idealist, filled with ideas, but what he had in mind is simple, to achieved his life long goal of being one with the legends, but in the process he prefers to take things easy and to stay calm and relax at all cause.
Being raised in different eviromental condition, 3 very different men were given birth to.
And so happens, fate brought these 3 different men into a crossroad of their life, where they 3 met and learn about one another.
One day, the extremist got in a fight with the idealist. It all started with a simple line of "my head hurts" in cantonese that is, while the extremist is conducting his lecture of logicism.
The extremist made an attempt to pass judgement upon the ill idealist claiming that he is nothing but an ignorant fool of society.
Confused and pissed idealist, fought back in chasing after the very actual reasoning behind the extremist's judgement. He did it in anger of course.
The extremist exclaimed that no matter what the idealist have in reason of exclaiming a line of "his head hurts" is simply rude towards one who is conducting a conversation.
The idealist cools down and hope to reason with the extremist. Finally they both came with a mutual understanding and they drank their ale in peace.
I wished it was all that simple.
Dear extremist,
Respect is indeed mutual. But have u ever come to a consideration if u are mutually respecting others of their opinions and state of feelings and trauma of certain sensitive issues?
Dear extremist,
Both dreamer and idealist apprectiates your opinion and advise oncertain aspect of issues which u deem right. But sometimes u pushed too far. What differs between advise and excessive mockery is merely seperated by a thin silk bra lace.
Drilling in personal claims into one's thinking is definitely not a form of advise.
U have put in mental brute force.
In this example, u are not respecting others but only people u deem worthy of ur respect.
Contradiction comes in when u wish that respect could be given to u at all cause yet u made a wade attempt in preserving mutuality.
What deems u the worthiness of judging others while u urself contradicts ur very own logic?
Both dreamer and idealist tried to pass on our opinions, yet most seems to be weakly supported thus never placed in dear extremist's consideration.
But there are times where you; yourself never gave us a chance to slice in our very piece of idea into your plate of logic.
People are complicated molecular structures formed on earth. What complicates us would definitely be our power generating instability.
A simple kiss, a simple hug or merely a simple call could easily turn a mice into a lion.
Yet at certain occasions, a simple thought, a simple criticism could bring the lion lower than ant itself.
These are all caused by the very same factor. Feelings.
Dear extremist, by obstructing our fruitless attempts of presenting our very own idea, we can very well fall into a state of depression and shaking our very weak foundation of confidence made out of 2nd class timber.
You may not notice on the way u treated people as we never seldom speak with a mirror projection of ourselves.
People are different we exclaimed. So let it be we advised. Dear extremist, you do stereotype. In a way, u gave the least respect to strangers who dress unaccordingly using ur basis of reasoning to judge.
And what made ur reasonings the most precise and comprehensive?
There are never the best answer, nor the best idea and definitely, the most correct thought.
All above are merely the best solution for the very instance.
It is because of differences among human, we would be able to perceived higher understanding of the universe. By trying to unify human's thought, we are limiting ideologies, philosophies, and ideas.
Why the silly attempt of wishing that everyone is the same?
Or have u fallen into deep into the quicksand of the majority populace?
U are also giving in towards the fear of being different.
Are u not trying to convert friends into the so called "different" minority?
By trying to convert them, u are building them into a larger minority, which leads to majority.
I hope you understand what i mean.
If respect is above all mutual... I wish the mutuality lasts.
The idealist only threw temper due to his extreme tireness and frustration. He only went to relax, never the mean of being judged or exclaimed to be rude by his dearest of frens.
All these have been unspoken thoughts u obstructed through out our life long conduct of conversations. And let me claim that all happens to my very own personal thoughts. Never the dreamer's involvement.
Nah, u should have guessed it.
Something never chg, the dreamer is still above stilts, never before on still grounds where he can support a definite idea.
Maybe that is what made him special.
Maybe the one who truly understands the beauty of reasoning is him?
Take care.
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Mr Lonely
Lonely I'm so lonely,
I have nobody,For my owwnnn
I'm so lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely
I have nobody, For my owwnnn
I'm so lonely,
Yo
this one here
goes out to all my playas out there
ya kno got to have one good girl whose always been there
like
yaKno took all the bullshit
then one day she cant take it no more and decides to leave
I woke up in the middle of the night and I noticed my girl wasn't by my side,
coulda sworn I was dreamin, for her I wasFeenin, so I hadda take a little ride,
back tracking ova these few years, tryna figure out wat I do to make it go bad,
cuzEver since my girl left me, my whole life came crashin
and ....
I'm so lonely (so lonely),
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl
Cant belive I hadda girl like you and I just let you walk right outta my life,
after all I put u thru u still stuckAround and stayed by my side,
what really hurt me is I broke ur heart,
baby you were a good girl and I had no right,
IReally wanna make things right, cuz
without u in my life girl
I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody to call my own)To call my own (to call my own)
girlI'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl
Been all about the world ain't neva met a girl that can take the things that you been through
Never thought the day would come where you would get up and run and I would be out chasing u
Cuz aint nowhere in the globe id rather be,
aint noone in the globe id rather see
then the girl of my dreams that made meBe
so happy but now so lonely
So lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own)
I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girrll
Never thought that id be alone,
I didnt hope you'd be gone this long,
I jus want u to call my phone,
so stop playing girl andCome on home (come on home),
baby girl I didn't mean to shout,
I want me and you to work it out,
I never wished Id everHurt my baby, and
its drivin me crazy cuz...
Chorus till the end.
Akon- Mr Lonely
Never knew rap could sound so wonderful.
A song worth complimenting.
Here i am busy ranting of how lonely i am,
but all these while the truth remains that i actually had a slight case of love phobia.
Love Phobia - Fear of commiting in one love relationship or simply the meaning; fear of falling in love.
Just a slight case, dont really have to worry much.
Everyone seems to be so smart, making assumptions that it was caused by my previous relationship.
Well, the past will remain as memories.
Nothing more.
It wasn't caused by the last relationship.
Yet the confliction occured just recently.
Having to know a few good female frens whom are single, they seem to be the ideal heroine for my next play on the stage of love.
However, I had never made any moves in pushing our relationship one step further.
I cant help wondering why.
I got the answer just yesterday.
Finally knowing it all occured due to my minor case of love phobia.
I am afraid of commitment after the last failure.
What I fear most is not commitment, but fearing that I dont actually love them as much, and finally even our present frenship will perish with flames.
So confused.
I have nobody,For my owwnnn
I'm so lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely
I have nobody, For my owwnnn
I'm so lonely,
Yo
this one here
goes out to all my playas out there
ya kno got to have one good girl whose always been there
like
yaKno took all the bullshit
then one day she cant take it no more and decides to leave
I woke up in the middle of the night and I noticed my girl wasn't by my side,
coulda sworn I was dreamin, for her I wasFeenin, so I hadda take a little ride,
back tracking ova these few years, tryna figure out wat I do to make it go bad,
cuzEver since my girl left me, my whole life came crashin
and ....
I'm so lonely (so lonely),
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl
Cant belive I hadda girl like you and I just let you walk right outta my life,
after all I put u thru u still stuckAround and stayed by my side,
what really hurt me is I broke ur heart,
baby you were a good girl and I had no right,
IReally wanna make things right, cuz
without u in my life girl
I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody to call my own)To call my own (to call my own)
girlI'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl
Been all about the world ain't neva met a girl that can take the things that you been through
Never thought the day would come where you would get up and run and I would be out chasing u
Cuz aint nowhere in the globe id rather be,
aint noone in the globe id rather see
then the girl of my dreams that made meBe
so happy but now so lonely
So lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own)
I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girrll
Never thought that id be alone,
I didnt hope you'd be gone this long,
I jus want u to call my phone,
so stop playing girl andCome on home (come on home),
baby girl I didn't mean to shout,
I want me and you to work it out,
I never wished Id everHurt my baby, and
its drivin me crazy cuz...
Chorus till the end.
Akon- Mr Lonely
Never knew rap could sound so wonderful.
A song worth complimenting.
Here i am busy ranting of how lonely i am,
but all these while the truth remains that i actually had a slight case of love phobia.
Love Phobia - Fear of commiting in one love relationship or simply the meaning; fear of falling in love.
Just a slight case, dont really have to worry much.
Everyone seems to be so smart, making assumptions that it was caused by my previous relationship.
Well, the past will remain as memories.
Nothing more.
It wasn't caused by the last relationship.
Yet the confliction occured just recently.
Having to know a few good female frens whom are single, they seem to be the ideal heroine for my next play on the stage of love.
However, I had never made any moves in pushing our relationship one step further.
I cant help wondering why.
I got the answer just yesterday.
Finally knowing it all occured due to my minor case of love phobia.
I am afraid of commitment after the last failure.
What I fear most is not commitment, but fearing that I dont actually love them as much, and finally even our present frenship will perish with flames.
So confused.
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Michelle Wright & Jim Brickman - Greatest Gift of All
Special dedication, to the lovers out there : -
Its not the flowers, wrapped in fancy papers.
Its not the ring, I wear around my finger.
There's nothing in all the world i need, when i have u here beside me.
Here beside me.
So u could gimme wings to fly.
Catch me when i fall.
Or pull the stars from the sky, so i can wish from em all.
But i couldnt ask for more.
Cause your love is the greatest gift of all.
Its not the flowers, wrapped in fancy papers.
Its not the ring, I wear around my finger.
There's nothing in all the world i need, when i have u here beside me.
Here beside me.
So u could gimme wings to fly.
Catch me when i fall.
Or pull the stars from the sky, so i can wish from em all.
But i couldnt ask for more.
Cause your love is the greatest gift of all.
Monday, February 28, 2005
GET TO WORK!
GET YOUR F*****G ASS TO WORK!!!!!!
*out of no where came a timid lil voice* ... "I'll be back!!!! Homework, you wont dominate me forever. You're gonna fall beneath me... U r no threat to me!!!!!!"
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Sigh... Sayonara Daisuki Na Hito
HanaHana: - Sayorana Daisuki Na Hito
Goodbye my love, goodbye my love I still love you
I'm so vexed, I'm so sad
I'm so vexed, I'm so sad
You won't come back anymore, but I still love you
I can't forget everything,
I can't forget everything,
I can't throw everything away I'm miserable and weak And pitiful,
I hate myself
Goodbye my love, goodbye my love
Goodbye my love, goodbye my love
I'll always love you I'll always, always love you
I won't cry now, don't cry now
I won't cry now, don't cry now
Although our hearts grow far apart, I still love you
I keep saying it's the last time,
I keep saying it's the last time,
I keep saying it 'til the end I stop my tears,
so that your smile Is the last thing I remember
Goodbye my love, goodbye my love
Goodbye my love, goodbye my love
I'll always love you I'll always, always love you
I'll always, always, always love you
Just hours ago, I was mesmerized by the touching story of The Chinese Odyssey 1 & 2 by the great Stephen Chow. Yes! There's no need of digging waxed clogs out of ur ears. Or your eyes in this situation.
Stephen Chow can make touching comedies as well k?
I rather old classic by Chow himself. One I would recommend for my fellow peers. So my peers could intro to their soulmate, parents etc.
It took place few thousands year back where the earth is tainted with evilness and corruption. According to the origins of Journey to the West, on earth walks magical, foul beasts which feast upon men's corruption and lust.
Thus Longevity Monk was given a task to endeavour a journey never dreampt possible. To pursuit the legendary Sutra in the west.
Hei, imagine walking from China all the way to Tibet, then India, then travel back to China by....FOOT!
It was rumoured that those who consume the flesh of Longevity Monk, one would achieve a state of Immortality *plays hysterical laughter of Kristof* wooo~ trembles* and be given a chance of redemption, being washed off sins and gain a place in the heavens as a god.
Monsters, ghouls, zombies and one big family of freeks which took notice of this rumour took no hesitation in stalking this defenceless, vunerable and ANNOYING monk played by Lau Kar Ying. Buddha took notice of the situation and granted the monk a 3 trusted disciples which happens to be monsters themselves.
Among were the Pig played by Ng Man Tat, the Sand King (no element of Dota was involved in the making of this movie k.) and the Monkey God; ahh.... played by our king of comedy himself. MR STEPHEN CHOW~
In this movie, the Monkey God was corrupted by the raw temptations which the mortal world has to offer. He then turned against his faithful mentor in pursuit of greater power and... peace. Yes, PEACE. As I told you, the monk is seriously annoying. U gotta watch the movie to find out. God! U just wish to embed ur fist into his shallow skull.
K back to the story, the Kuan Yin took notice of the monkey's betrayal took action in incinerating the tainted monkey's body and soul into mere ashes.
The monk willingly sacrificed his mortal life in exchange of a chance of redemption of the Monkey God. Even the sky would shed tears in the presence of such a sacrificial spirit only heard of in the Holy Sutras of Buddism.
Thus, the Monkey God's soul was preserved and be given a chance of reincarnation 500 years later in redemption for all chaos and evil which he had done in the past.
500 years later~
Stephen was given life once more, now as a mere mortal with all means of magic sealed and memories erased. Soon to discover his real identity and his past memories of the women he love.
Wow. Gotta cut it short. I'm really tired now due to the bloody flu i'm experiencing.
Its a 3 hours movie. As you really have to watch both movies to totally understand the story and love behind this movie 3000 years in the making.
Ok, so we now reach the scene where Stephen was confused of who he really loves. In the end, it was the goddess of Chi Lan played by Chu Yan, which his heart truly desires. But Chi Lan happens to be a captive of the Evil Bull King whose power could tremble the very foundation of heaven, er... meaning Very Powerful lo.
Stephen has no choice but to take transformation into his one true form, the unbeatable Monkey God to save Chi Lan from the evil grasped of the Bull King. Unbeatable in the range of mortals, lesser evils, greater evils and gods. Buddhas not taken into account.
But... yes, theres a but to all this movies. There will always, wait... let me bold it... ALWAYS be a catch. Stephen has to agreed to put on a ceremonial circlet which was imbued with magical power of Kuan Yin which could never ever be taken out anymore if put on willingly.
So wut is the big deal about this circlet? Is it an insult to fashion which deems to be really ugly?
Nah~ it looks great as an accessories for the Monkey God.
The circlet happens to be some sort of device which will shrink in size causing agonizing pain, if the owner ever have feelings of lust, love or evil in their thought.
Ironic. Here, Stephen has to save his one true love millenias in the making and the only way happens to be burrying his love for her in the endless abyss of his heart.
That gave Stephen not much of a choice. He put on the circlet and the transformation took place.
K now we move to scene 148, Clash of the Titans.
*plays authentic music effect which was heard in Fist of Buddha, no modifications were placed in the music effect, thus no element of rap, techno or r&B just mere music which involves few different key of monotones*
As we forecasted, the Evil Bull King is no match for the GREAT Monkey God.
"That leaves me no choice!" shouted the Bull King.
The Bull King lifted the whole village and projected it towards the direction of the flaming sun. "If I were to die, They will have to go first!!!" exclamated the Bull. The Monkey God took off to the rescue.
Then the Bull played a foul move and did a sneak attack on Stephen, Chi Lan out of no where, pushed his true love aside and took the 20D40 sneak attack with X 4 critical dmg which no God or mortal could endure.
Chi Lan then took an emergency landing from 20, 000 feets above sea level *plays Triumph in the Sky theme song*. Stephen to the rescue tadada~
Here is where i truly love most about the show.
The Monkey God tries to get a real tight hold of Chi Lan, but the circlet took effect... The pain caused by the circlet is definitely no match for the heart stabbing pain felt by the Monkey God himself.
The circlet almost cracked the monkey's skull apart... He had no choice but to let go of Chi Lan and witness her death helplessly.
Oooo.... Sayonara Daisuki Na Hito~
(P.S: Do not ask me to lend u the DVDs. Come my house and watch if u want.)
Monday, February 21, 2005
Aqua - Turn Back Time
Tonight's special~ ( specially made for the procrastinators )
Give me time to reason,
give me time to think it through.
Passing through the season,
where I cheated you.
I will always have a cross to wear,
but the bolt reminds me I was there.
So give me strength,
to face this test of mine.
(Chorus 1)
If only I could turn back time,
If only I had saved what I still had.
If only I could turn back time,
I would stay for the night... for the night.
Claim your right to science,
Claim your right to see the truth.
Though my pangs of conscience,
Will drill a hole in you.
I've seen it coming like a thief in the night,
I've seen it coming from the flesh of your light.
So give me strength,
to face this test of mine.
(Chorus 2)
If only I could turn back time,
if only I had saved what I still had.
if only I could turn back time,I would stay.
The bolt reminds me I was there
the bolt reminds me I was there
its moment like these where u wished that u hadnt took that extra 15 mins in the bathroom, the excess time u spent masturbating(example only, dont take it too personally XP).
living a life of a procrastinator aint an easy task.
u gotta live it as if everything in the world doesn't matter throughout most of ur time.
and when the long hand of your old grandfather clock strikes 12... its a sign that u must make up for what is lost in quantity.
Its time for REDEMPTION!
U gotta work X times as hard. X being the multiplier of the total time elapsed of u being ignorant. 1 hour of procrastination marks a total of 1 in the multiplier. 2 for 2 of course and the list just goes on.
Pampering just reduces ur productivity thus causing stack negative effect of procrastination. Considering the factor of pampering, thus a constant multiplier of 1.5 had to be added into the equation of hark work.
So here's the sum.
I procrastinated for 3 days.
Counting out sleeping hours, eating hours and other essentials in life... that leaves me 12 hours in a day.
3 x 12 (multiplier of X) x 1.5 (constant multiplier of laziness)
that leads me to.... *taps on the calculator*
WOW
54 times as hard!
I am dead.
Which means no sleep tonite.
Why am i still blogging ?????
oh no!!!!
that adds another multiplier.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
It aint easy being one who procrastinates.
Only gifted children of earth are given this special ability.
Ah... one might claim that anyone could have easily procrastinates.
Easy to be a pathetic procrastinator who gain no respect and no academic achievement.
Its gifted for those who can triumph academically and socially even having the fact of being a constant procrastinator.
Which means... I have much to learn about the art of procrastinating.
*Humming, singing softly* hmmmmm.... if only i could turn back time~ *music slowly sinks into the background*
Give me time to reason,
give me time to think it through.
Passing through the season,
where I cheated you.
I will always have a cross to wear,
but the bolt reminds me I was there.
So give me strength,
to face this test of mine.
(Chorus 1)
If only I could turn back time,
If only I had saved what I still had.
If only I could turn back time,
I would stay for the night... for the night.
Claim your right to science,
Claim your right to see the truth.
Though my pangs of conscience,
Will drill a hole in you.
I've seen it coming like a thief in the night,
I've seen it coming from the flesh of your light.
So give me strength,
to face this test of mine.
(Chorus 2)
If only I could turn back time,
if only I had saved what I still had.
if only I could turn back time,I would stay.
The bolt reminds me I was there
the bolt reminds me I was there
its moment like these where u wished that u hadnt took that extra 15 mins in the bathroom, the excess time u spent masturbating(example only, dont take it too personally XP).
living a life of a procrastinator aint an easy task.
u gotta live it as if everything in the world doesn't matter throughout most of ur time.
and when the long hand of your old grandfather clock strikes 12... its a sign that u must make up for what is lost in quantity.
Its time for REDEMPTION!
U gotta work X times as hard. X being the multiplier of the total time elapsed of u being ignorant. 1 hour of procrastination marks a total of 1 in the multiplier. 2 for 2 of course and the list just goes on.
Pampering just reduces ur productivity thus causing stack negative effect of procrastination. Considering the factor of pampering, thus a constant multiplier of 1.5 had to be added into the equation of hark work.
So here's the sum.
I procrastinated for 3 days.
Counting out sleeping hours, eating hours and other essentials in life... that leaves me 12 hours in a day.
3 x 12 (multiplier of X) x 1.5 (constant multiplier of laziness)
that leads me to.... *taps on the calculator*
WOW
54 times as hard!
I am dead.
Which means no sleep tonite.
Why am i still blogging ?????
oh no!!!!
that adds another multiplier.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
It aint easy being one who procrastinates.
Only gifted children of earth are given this special ability.
Ah... one might claim that anyone could have easily procrastinates.
Easy to be a pathetic procrastinator who gain no respect and no academic achievement.
Its gifted for those who can triumph academically and socially even having the fact of being a constant procrastinator.
Which means... I have much to learn about the art of procrastinating.
*Humming, singing softly* hmmmmm.... if only i could turn back time~ *music slowly sinks into the background*
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Lee Shen Jie - Track 3
*music*
I lock myself away from civilisation with only a lil balcony as a mean of communication...
As the night approaches, routinely I would step out to greet the moon "evening!" and mesmerized by the flashing past memories, scene by scene, of you and me.
As I switch on the tv, with patience I listened to the dialogue of actors, wishing that those stories told would lead me to a proper answer...the love u want... I could not give...
Watching how our love turn bad, witnessed how love turned sour... only as a spectator.
I could never give u a future, mind as well give u back ur present,
a silently ended relationship could also be a mean to show care...
As tears fell, voice went coarse, maybe breakup is the best understanding I could give...
I gave u~
my last love and care, it turned out to be freeing u...Not being selfish holding u back from all the love u can get in trade for this ordinary piece of love.
Let this stained love slowly cleansed by the bleach of time...and in preparation of accepting another piece of love...
My last love and care is to call a break up~
Would never sweet talk my way out for ur forgiveness,
as love is just a freeway, with comers and goers...
My heart is just a writen signboard ... which says "awaiting."
As I tuned on to the radio, I listened to other's failure...accompanied by the sorrow winds of the night...
Signs of you being dependant writen on ur face...
felt heavy to push u away...
cant leave u easily...
As one who is leading a new love life tends to be fragile.
sure a lot of wrong ge la this translation.
he sang real fast with all the deep chinese words. how to translate wor?
seeing my chinese lvl is so low.
...
..
.
.
.
sigh...
lonesome.
I lock myself away from civilisation with only a lil balcony as a mean of communication...
As the night approaches, routinely I would step out to greet the moon "evening!" and mesmerized by the flashing past memories, scene by scene, of you and me.
As I switch on the tv, with patience I listened to the dialogue of actors, wishing that those stories told would lead me to a proper answer...the love u want... I could not give...
Watching how our love turn bad, witnessed how love turned sour... only as a spectator.
I could never give u a future, mind as well give u back ur present,
a silently ended relationship could also be a mean to show care...
As tears fell, voice went coarse, maybe breakup is the best understanding I could give...
I gave u~
my last love and care, it turned out to be freeing u...Not being selfish holding u back from all the love u can get in trade for this ordinary piece of love.
Let this stained love slowly cleansed by the bleach of time...and in preparation of accepting another piece of love...
My last love and care is to call a break up~
Would never sweet talk my way out for ur forgiveness,
as love is just a freeway, with comers and goers...
My heart is just a writen signboard ... which says "awaiting."
As I tuned on to the radio, I listened to other's failure...accompanied by the sorrow winds of the night...
Signs of you being dependant writen on ur face...
felt heavy to push u away...
cant leave u easily...
As one who is leading a new love life tends to be fragile.
sure a lot of wrong ge la this translation.
he sang real fast with all the deep chinese words. how to translate wor?
seeing my chinese lvl is so low.
...
..
.
.
.
sigh...
lonesome.
Monday, January 17, 2005
The Mark of Death
wonder what the mark of death is?
its a combination of the question mark and the exclamation mark.
also known as the Mark of Death *background plays the Dracula theme music with flashing lights, roaring thunder as backdrop*
never did i knew the power of this mark till i finally witness the power it posseses this very moment.
a simple mixture of "! & ?" = "Speak properly! U dont have to shout. I dont want to chat. NITE!"
...woah...
never did i knew... the simple combination of these 2 marks happens to be the seal which summons the slumbering goddess of war.
sigh...
sleep is best where she should be kept.
if u happen to be reading this?
i just hope to let u know... i'm sorry.
"?!" i was trying to express that i'm bragging...
but u got the wrong msg.
hmm... should add emoticons the next time we sms.
u know, a line could be read in so many different expressions.
the angry reading method.
the sobbing method.
the jolly way.
ahh... or the classic, robotic method.
every reading method could lead u into a different understanding of a simple sentence.
thus my all time favourite method of communication would definitely goes to the dying trend of "face to face conversation."
Alas... the phone was invented for the convenience of mankind.
never meant to distort the merit doings of men such as, socialising, talking face to face, tea (yum char).
now with the advancement of mobility in communication... understanding seems so hard to reach.
we talk so much on the phone, sms, msn, icq, mms, e-mail yet never before reach a stage of mutual understanding.
was it me... or was it u who never took time in understanding one another?
sigh...
sorry.
its a combination of the question mark and the exclamation mark.
also known as the Mark of Death *background plays the Dracula theme music with flashing lights, roaring thunder as backdrop*
never did i knew the power of this mark till i finally witness the power it posseses this very moment.
a simple mixture of "! & ?" = "Speak properly! U dont have to shout. I dont want to chat. NITE!"
...woah...
never did i knew... the simple combination of these 2 marks happens to be the seal which summons the slumbering goddess of war.
sigh...
sleep is best where she should be kept.
if u happen to be reading this?
i just hope to let u know... i'm sorry.
"?!" i was trying to express that i'm bragging...
but u got the wrong msg.
hmm... should add emoticons the next time we sms.
u know, a line could be read in so many different expressions.
the angry reading method.
the sobbing method.
the jolly way.
ahh... or the classic, robotic method.
every reading method could lead u into a different understanding of a simple sentence.
thus my all time favourite method of communication would definitely goes to the dying trend of "face to face conversation."
Alas... the phone was invented for the convenience of mankind.
never meant to distort the merit doings of men such as, socialising, talking face to face, tea (yum char).
now with the advancement of mobility in communication... understanding seems so hard to reach.
we talk so much on the phone, sms, msn, icq, mms, e-mail yet never before reach a stage of mutual understanding.
was it me... or was it u who never took time in understanding one another?
sigh...
sorry.
Friday, January 14, 2005
Men's Heart Good As Dog's Liver?
it's often said that men have a heart as good as a dog's liver. and that aint a compliment.
as what the chinese had in mind is to claim that we men are heartless and qualified to be compared with a life form lower than humankind.
i wish to disagree.
not all men are heartless and unfaithful.
we arent like dogs.
we dont treat, anyone that gives us food, really good like what dogs do.
not all guys craze for sex, like what dogs did. they get to have sex with just any female dog they see.
why are we being compared to dogs?
rubbish!
do not ever, ever, ever let me heart that ALL MEN are DOGS!!!
not all men are dogs!
what about women?
u dare say that all women are faithful?
u dare say that all women arent heartless like what u claimed men are.
ironically, more and more women are now equivalent to those, so called doggish guys.
and what about me?
stop pulling me into the pit of dogs.
i am not one of them!
i for one is faithful to love.
never before an intention to go unfaithful.
and i for one... will not have sex with a woman whom i do not love, one whom i have no feelings for no matter how pretty they are.
women, stop claiming that we are dogs.
we are not!
if being compared,
a woman could forget about their ex 10X's faster than a guy if they want to.
a woman could be 10X's more unfaithful when they chose to.
and many .... i meant MANY women does that.
so stop accusing the men.
at least not me!!!!!!!!
as what the chinese had in mind is to claim that we men are heartless and qualified to be compared with a life form lower than humankind.
i wish to disagree.
not all men are heartless and unfaithful.
we arent like dogs.
we dont treat, anyone that gives us food, really good like what dogs do.
not all guys craze for sex, like what dogs did. they get to have sex with just any female dog they see.
why are we being compared to dogs?
rubbish!
do not ever, ever, ever let me heart that ALL MEN are DOGS!!!
not all men are dogs!
what about women?
u dare say that all women are faithful?
u dare say that all women arent heartless like what u claimed men are.
ironically, more and more women are now equivalent to those, so called doggish guys.
and what about me?
stop pulling me into the pit of dogs.
i am not one of them!
i for one is faithful to love.
never before an intention to go unfaithful.
and i for one... will not have sex with a woman whom i do not love, one whom i have no feelings for no matter how pretty they are.
women, stop claiming that we are dogs.
we are not!
if being compared,
a woman could forget about their ex 10X's faster than a guy if they want to.
a woman could be 10X's more unfaithful when they chose to.
and many .... i meant MANY women does that.
so stop accusing the men.
at least not me!!!!!!!!
Sunday, January 09, 2005
Number 16 Lover
the lost of meaning in being persistant,
why shouldnt i be given a chance to determine who should gain a place in my heart?
on ur next attempt to chg ur partner, my name would be deleted from ur phone...
thus pls i beg of you not to come looking for me, the one who didnt get a good hold of ur heart.
come to think of the moment before,
i cant help of being silly, innocent as u might call it,
among the girls u were the only one who presented me a ring,
it turned out that "I love you most" from ur lips were just temporary.
and it happened to be a chg of my rank every 2 days in ur heart.
from 1 to 2, 4 to 12 it became more and more ridiculous through the progress of time...
why? how? did i ever became ur number 16 lover...
simply by walking in the street now, u can easily find a guy much more interesting and attractive than i am...
sometimes i just envy them so much and wish to be them,
to chg my appearance to start a new beginning with u.
i had always been a winner in the past,
how could i bare with this status of being a substitute in ur heart?
i have seen the peak of ur icy mountain, yet gradually slipping down to the pit of no return...
in seeing the future, my legs were shaking, heart filled with fear...
as i said before it would be an unregretable love...
ironically... i am to be taught a lesson now.
i turned humble, only wishes to be on the 2nd spot,
yet i would still feel the excitement of achievement,
who would have guessed that tolerating would lead from a drop of rank from the 1st runner up to the 2nd runner up...
everyone claimed that i allowed u to be flirtitious thus causing a fall to even a more ridiculous stage of rank 4, 5, 6 and 7 with no surprise at all...
my tolerance leads to ur cruelty which gave u the heart to push me to a neverending pit.
Joey Yung : - Number 16 Lover
my attempt of translating the one time famous Number 16 Lover that is shaking the HK music industry now.
i happened to hear this song on the radio today on my way to see my friends...
the song gave me flashbacks of what happened a month before.
i made a u-turn and made a stop in a nearby playground to finish the song.
slowly i reflect why am i acting like this, alone, in my car.
this appeared to be the theme song which my pet sis has chosen to end her relationship with her first real true love.
nights after nights i spent time in hoping i could help her out from the pit which her ex has thrown her into.
making sure she would forget every memory they made together.
she failed real bad.
she cant forget, nor feel less for him.
what am i complaining...
and why am i helping her to forget...
i can barely forget as well...
it just the 1st month of our break up.
sigh~
how am i to bare with the coming times...?
miss u...
why shouldnt i be given a chance to determine who should gain a place in my heart?
on ur next attempt to chg ur partner, my name would be deleted from ur phone...
thus pls i beg of you not to come looking for me, the one who didnt get a good hold of ur heart.
come to think of the moment before,
i cant help of being silly, innocent as u might call it,
among the girls u were the only one who presented me a ring,
it turned out that "I love you most" from ur lips were just temporary.
and it happened to be a chg of my rank every 2 days in ur heart.
from 1 to 2, 4 to 12 it became more and more ridiculous through the progress of time...
why? how? did i ever became ur number 16 lover...
simply by walking in the street now, u can easily find a guy much more interesting and attractive than i am...
sometimes i just envy them so much and wish to be them,
to chg my appearance to start a new beginning with u.
i had always been a winner in the past,
how could i bare with this status of being a substitute in ur heart?
i have seen the peak of ur icy mountain, yet gradually slipping down to the pit of no return...
in seeing the future, my legs were shaking, heart filled with fear...
as i said before it would be an unregretable love...
ironically... i am to be taught a lesson now.
i turned humble, only wishes to be on the 2nd spot,
yet i would still feel the excitement of achievement,
who would have guessed that tolerating would lead from a drop of rank from the 1st runner up to the 2nd runner up...
everyone claimed that i allowed u to be flirtitious thus causing a fall to even a more ridiculous stage of rank 4, 5, 6 and 7 with no surprise at all...
my tolerance leads to ur cruelty which gave u the heart to push me to a neverending pit.
Joey Yung : - Number 16 Lover
my attempt of translating the one time famous Number 16 Lover that is shaking the HK music industry now.
i happened to hear this song on the radio today on my way to see my friends...
the song gave me flashbacks of what happened a month before.
i made a u-turn and made a stop in a nearby playground to finish the song.
slowly i reflect why am i acting like this, alone, in my car.
this appeared to be the theme song which my pet sis has chosen to end her relationship with her first real true love.
nights after nights i spent time in hoping i could help her out from the pit which her ex has thrown her into.
making sure she would forget every memory they made together.
she failed real bad.
she cant forget, nor feel less for him.
what am i complaining...
and why am i helping her to forget...
i can barely forget as well...
it just the 1st month of our break up.
sigh~
how am i to bare with the coming times...?
miss u...
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Numb
i'm tired of being who u want me to be
feeling so faithless
lost under the surface
dunno what u're expecting of me
put under the pressure of walking in ur shoes...
everystep that i take... is another mistake to u
i've become so NUMB!
i cant feel u there...
i've become so TIRED!
so much more awake...
i'm becoming this...
all i want u to...
is be more like ME!
and be less like YOU!
cant u see that u're smothering me...
holding me too tightly...
afraid to lose control...
cause everything that u thought that i would be...
has fallen apart right in front of u...
everystep that i take, is another mistake to u!
and everysecond i waste... is MORE THAT I CAN TAKE!
i've become so NUMB!
i cant feel u there...
i've become so TIRED!
so much more awake...
i'm becoming this...
all i want u to...
is be more like ME!
and be less like YOU!
and i know....
i may end up failing too...
but i know...
u were just like me... with someone disappointed in u...
i've become so numb...
i cant feel u there...
i've become so TIRED!
so much more awake...
i'm becoming this...
all i want u to...
is be more like ME!
and be less like YOU!
feeling so faithless
lost under the surface
dunno what u're expecting of me
put under the pressure of walking in ur shoes...
everystep that i take... is another mistake to u
i've become so NUMB!
i cant feel u there...
i've become so TIRED!
so much more awake...
i'm becoming this...
all i want u to...
is be more like ME!
and be less like YOU!
cant u see that u're smothering me...
holding me too tightly...
afraid to lose control...
cause everything that u thought that i would be...
has fallen apart right in front of u...
everystep that i take, is another mistake to u!
and everysecond i waste... is MORE THAT I CAN TAKE!
i've become so NUMB!
i cant feel u there...
i've become so TIRED!
so much more awake...
i'm becoming this...
all i want u to...
is be more like ME!
and be less like YOU!
and i know....
i may end up failing too...
but i know...
u were just like me... with someone disappointed in u...
i've become so numb...
i cant feel u there...
i've become so TIRED!
so much more awake...
i'm becoming this...
all i want u to...
is be more like ME!
and be less like YOU!
Sunday, January 02, 2005
A New Chapter
Its the year 2005.
Those unhappy memories are meant to be forgotten.
Thus, let it be.
Let it be forgotten.
2005 marks a new chapter in my life.
New life, new resolutions and hopefully new friends.
Of course I would be most grateful if all new friends are girls.
Hehehe.
Its now 2a.m just finish watching Hong Kong Music Award Live on Astro Wah Lai Toi.
Just like how we forecasted (we as in, friends who follow on the trend of music) , Leo got what he deserved this year.
It's a pity that Leo Ku, aka Ku Kui Gei, only managed to get Favourite Song Title yet never even got the chance to get into the finalists of best male singer.
What a pity.
This year, he not only became on of the finalist but manage to pillage 2 other awards other than Favourite Song Title, also Best Male Singer and Favourite Singer.
For his Favourite Song Title award... this year goes to the song Ngoi Yu Seng for a simple chorus which totally expresses the feelings of lovers who contributed so much, yet all they get in return is a love less than those given to pets.
Totally love that song.
There goes again in the radio...
*music playing in background*Pit Choi Zhou Ching Yan, Zhou Chiek Mao Zhou Chiak Gau But Zhou Ching Yan.....
Happy Belated New Year.
Those unhappy memories are meant to be forgotten.
Thus, let it be.
Let it be forgotten.
2005 marks a new chapter in my life.
New life, new resolutions and hopefully new friends.
Of course I would be most grateful if all new friends are girls.
Hehehe.
Its now 2a.m just finish watching Hong Kong Music Award Live on Astro Wah Lai Toi.
Just like how we forecasted (we as in, friends who follow on the trend of music) , Leo got what he deserved this year.
It's a pity that Leo Ku, aka Ku Kui Gei, only managed to get Favourite Song Title yet never even got the chance to get into the finalists of best male singer.
What a pity.
This year, he not only became on of the finalist but manage to pillage 2 other awards other than Favourite Song Title, also Best Male Singer and Favourite Singer.
For his Favourite Song Title award... this year goes to the song Ngoi Yu Seng for a simple chorus which totally expresses the feelings of lovers who contributed so much, yet all they get in return is a love less than those given to pets.
Totally love that song.
There goes again in the radio...
*music playing in background*Pit Choi Zhou Ching Yan, Zhou Chiek Mao Zhou Chiak Gau But Zhou Ching Yan.....
Happy Belated New Year.
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