Love & Selflessness

They say love is a strong feeling. 

It is a selfish feeling. 

I really hate that feeling. Feeling selfish, feeling insecure, having the need to compare all the time...

It is a tiring feeling. 

My ideal love should be selfless. That tinge of sour and bitterness as you green with jealousy... but then just enough sweetness to save it all from that smile of your partner... knowing he/she is truly happy. 

Your partner's happiness should be your happiness. 

The recipe is simple... yet the proportion is never easy to control. 

Too much sourness... ends in jealousy.

Too much bitterness... ends in misery.

Too much sweetness... smothers your partner indefinitely. 

Humans and their complicated feelings. What a bunch of trouble seekers. 

The Grass After The Rain

I like the smell of grass after rain. The light breeze of the wind carries the earthy musk of the rain-drenched grass gently hitting against my face.

Often contented by simple events, from far I look like a simple person.
Yet I am never simple. The inane ability to synthesize facts and information contradicts all simplicity that I value so much.

The overly simplistic likings are perhaps an over compensation for the complexity that is apparent in me.

I just want to be a simple person.
But I cannot.

Expectations

"A strong belief that something will happen..."
It usually doesn't in my case. Perhaps I have set the bar too high...
Or I tend to think the best of human nature.

But there are rare instances when I found people or things that went beyond my expectations.
And these are rare instances.
Is it all worthwhile to keep living optimistically hoping one of these would happen?
Well the argument is that... it would happen anyway even without you setting any form of expectations.

As expectations would only bring you down and see the worse in a person.
Why care?
Set yourself free from the ball and chain that is "expectation."

Expect less...
Live more.

Mirror

I am like a mirror.
For I reflect the good... while I also reflect the bad.
I reflect the best, while I can also reflect the worst.

It comes 2nd nature to me the way I treat people.
Through their reflections. Yet I always try to put in a little extra.
For whatever good that is done...I return with a little bit more kindness.
For whatever bad that was done... I tend to let them have a little taste of what was felt.

It also comes difficult at times when I can never find a way to reflect one's kindness and affection...
I would rather opt not to be in such predicament.
Someone once told me that I tend to hold pointless insistence.
Perhaps I do.
And this quality of mine tends to not just stress myself... but others as well.
It is perhaps everyone is never perfect. The idea of being around a mirror would act as a constant reminder of the things they have done wrong... The notion of having to be at your best simply scares many.

Never bestow onto others what you wish not be done upon yourself.
I guess... it is just too much to ask for.

Me ...
and my pointless insistence.

无谓的坚持

Despair

Is when you have tried all your best...
and it changes nothing...

Selfish Jerk

"Honey badger ,"  a nick name from the uni days . Why "honey badger?" Because honey badger don't give a shit . Cause it's a badass. 

In shielding my pain, all I cared about back then was myself . Why care if you have hurt someone through your words . You can't take responsibility from hurting someone for speaking the truth now can you? 

And yet today I worry if my words have the slightest impact on people who just wish to distant themselves from me . Oh bother why do I care . 

Life is simpler as a selfish jerk. At least you guarantee that one person is happy .