I am typing this as you're napping.
You are suppose to be working...
You remind me a lot of myself.
You invoke a greater purpose in my life.
Although sometimes you don't speak much...
I am grateful.
Grateful for your appearance.
Grateful for all you have brought.
Grateful for all you have done.
I can only wish... and if I wish hard enough...
it may just come true...
I wish this will never end.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
Fireworks
The beauty is mesmerizing, yet it never lasts.
We can constantly have it fired up to light the sky.
But inevitably, the fire dims off and the sky darkens once more.
There's only so many fireworks we can lease out @ any given time.
I shall have it immortalize in my memory.
Although... no longer intangible...
but it shall always remain... in the form of nostalgia.
We can constantly have it fired up to light the sky.
But inevitably, the fire dims off and the sky darkens once more.
There's only so many fireworks we can lease out @ any given time.
I shall have it immortalize in my memory.
Although... no longer intangible...
but it shall always remain... in the form of nostalgia.
Friday, June 03, 2011
Unlucky
"lucky I'm in love with my best friend..."
...rite.
never wish to go down that road anymore.
definitely.
...rite.
never wish to go down that road anymore.
definitely.
Thursday, June 02, 2011
Addiction
Addiction - Compulsive physiological and psychological need for a habit-forming substance
It's not entirely true about me setting up walls to the world outside. Sometimes I leave holes in my walls...
It's not entirely true about me setting up walls to the world outside. Sometimes I leave holes in my walls...
Monday, May 16, 2011
郑欣宜-有故事的人
想与你开始仍难开始谁亦充满着故事
想交上真心两步又停止如擦痛我掌心倒刺
想与你开始从头开始彼此的痛遥远但相似
寻觅幸福触摸爱情直至勾起寂寞和失意
想与你开始仍难开始曾受伤过便会知
想交上真心两步又停止如何与你相拥半次
Mentally hate this song...
yet the lyrics just felt so right.
hah...
"God's a comedian...playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." -Voltaire
想交上真心两步又停止如擦痛我掌心倒刺
想与你开始从头开始彼此的痛遥远但相似
寻觅幸福触摸爱情直至勾起寂寞和失意
想与你开始仍难开始曾受伤过便会知
想交上真心两步又停止如何与你相拥半次
Mentally hate this song...
yet the lyrics just felt so right.
hah...
"God's a comedian...playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." -Voltaire
Sunday, May 15, 2011
5:10
Sorry ...
I may not start anything with you at this point...
you were not given an appropriate answer.
"It's because ... I remember Wonderful Tonight is 5:10 min in length. Every single second of it..."
however... that is all I need to know.
while "staying back" is all you should do.
Thank you...
but sorry.
Take care.
I may not start anything with you at this point...
you were not given an appropriate answer.
"It's because ... I remember Wonderful Tonight is 5:10 min in length. Every single second of it..."
however... that is all I need to know.
while "staying back" is all you should do.
Thank you...
but sorry.
Take care.
Sunday, May 08, 2011
A Reason to Fight
A distant call back to home today...
She sounds contained...
Then I got to know she went for surgery few days prior before my call.
She went for surgery without letting me know.
She's afraid I might be distracted.
I held on to my tears.
For I am a man.
Made another call to a family I called home.
She sounds well.
She plans to save up all her annual leave so she can come see me for graduation...
She dare not take a single day off she's not entitled too.
Hoping she has a stronger chance in negotiating a long week off.
I held on to my tears.
For I am a man.
At times I asked myself... why do I fight?...
It is not just a battle for my honor...
But also to honor the family's pride.
She might not be the best mother in the world.
But she is my mother.
She will never be my maternal mother...
But she is nothing less of a mother.
And for that... they will always be my reason...
to fight.
I love you mom(s).
She sounds contained...
Then I got to know she went for surgery few days prior before my call.
She went for surgery without letting me know.
She's afraid I might be distracted.
I held on to my tears.
For I am a man.
Made another call to a family I called home.
She sounds well.
She plans to save up all her annual leave so she can come see me for graduation...
She dare not take a single day off she's not entitled too.
Hoping she has a stronger chance in negotiating a long week off.
I held on to my tears.
For I am a man.
At times I asked myself... why do I fight?...
It is not just a battle for my honor...
But also to honor the family's pride.
She might not be the best mother in the world.
But she is my mother.
She will never be my maternal mother...
But she is nothing less of a mother.
And for that... they will always be my reason...
to fight.
I love you mom(s).
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Life Goes On
"They all say life goes on. But no one ever says that it's a good thing."
"...why is that?"
Here's one overly romanticized version of an answer I might have.
Sure the world will not stop revolving around the sun,
the seasons will prepare for the next cycle,
while the next daylight would not cease to diminish.
Hence the body tries to go forward,
the mind tries to grab whatever makes most sense...
while the heart... stops on its track...
Moving forward is not difficult.
Bearing with the pain of moving forward with the heart left behind...
is.
"...why is that?"
Here's one overly romanticized version of an answer I might have.
Sure the world will not stop revolving around the sun,
the seasons will prepare for the next cycle,
while the next daylight would not cease to diminish.
Hence the body tries to go forward,
the mind tries to grab whatever makes most sense...
while the heart... stops on its track...
Moving forward is not difficult.
Bearing with the pain of moving forward with the heart left behind...
is.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Action Speaks
Under normal circumstances, actions do speak louder than words.
I hear you.
Loud and clear.
I hear you.
Loud and clear.
The Heart Wants, What The Heart Wants.
Thank you for the love.
Or the interest shown.
Yet this is one of those gratitude that is followed with a disappointment.
Thank you...really. But sorry at the same time.
It's not to say you are all intolerable, nor 2nd class when come to compare with her.
It's also not to say that I am unwilling to move on, nor am I still moarning for the past.
But the heart wants, what the heart wants.
Thank you for the attentions, the gift =) and the care.
Yet these are all investments that I cannot guarantee returns on; at this point in time.
As you have all been too important for me to ever lie to.
Thank you for being there.
Or the interest shown.
Yet this is one of those gratitude that is followed with a disappointment.
Thank you...really. But sorry at the same time.
It's not to say you are all intolerable, nor 2nd class when come to compare with her.
It's also not to say that I am unwilling to move on, nor am I still moarning for the past.
But the heart wants, what the heart wants.
Thank you for the attentions, the gift =) and the care.
Yet these are all investments that I cannot guarantee returns on; at this point in time.
As you have all been too important for me to ever lie to.
Thank you for being there.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
The 12th of April
A feeling that sprouts from the seed that was planted on this very date.
A seed of admiration.
A seed of love.
If all these were a mistake.
You are perhaps the most beautiful mistake I'll ever make.
Happy Birthday.
A seed of admiration.
A seed of love.
If all these were a mistake.
You are perhaps the most beautiful mistake I'll ever make.
Happy Birthday.
Thursday, April 07, 2011
Intoxication
In the midst of joint pains and spine shrilling shiver...
I saw you... at least an imaginative figure of you.
Being 6000km away... my limited knowledge of space time and continuum, ground me to my senses.
It's been half a year now and counting. Yet your very presence in the form of memory never seize to haunt me from time to time.
Be it a song, a random phrase or gesture that resembles yours in any way... you would appear.
It was in that mode of pain intoxication... I saw you... and you enveloped me in your warm embrace.
Subconciously...I know it's just me rolling in the quilt, while holding myself really tight. But it doesn't hurt to just lie a little to myself at this point of depression.
I saw you... at least an imaginative figure of you.
Being 6000km away... my limited knowledge of space time and continuum, ground me to my senses.
It's been half a year now and counting. Yet your very presence in the form of memory never seize to haunt me from time to time.
Be it a song, a random phrase or gesture that resembles yours in any way... you would appear.
It was in that mode of pain intoxication... I saw you... and you enveloped me in your warm embrace.
Subconciously...I know it's just me rolling in the quilt, while holding myself really tight. But it doesn't hurt to just lie a little to myself at this point of depression.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Making Changes
It is my belief that making changes is only most difficult on the first step. The rest is a matter of following it through. Changes are being made, yet the level of difficulty does not diminish in proportion with time. The road to recovery is of uncertainty. I wish to give a date to call an absolute end. Yet from time to time, it has revealed how weak the mind would succumb to emotions. I am not ready.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Monday, February 07, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
This Cannot Be Good
*cough cough*
blood stained tissues...
aching rib cage...
this cannot be good.
Then comes the inevitable. As if things can get any worse. I just got too tired of the drama that is reenacting itself time after time.
The banters, the quarrels, the fight for recognition and the rallying of supporters. I'm not talking about the upcoming election. This is just a common fiasco seen in my house every year... ever since these 2 new inlaws came into the picture.
I can excuse the immaturity or the cutthroat bitching behind ppl's back... but pls... let it not involve the next generation neither should it put the elders in a difficult situation.
Ah... how I wish to cough blood into the face of you two numbskulls...
blood stained tissues...
aching rib cage...
this cannot be good.
Then comes the inevitable. As if things can get any worse. I just got too tired of the drama that is reenacting itself time after time.
The banters, the quarrels, the fight for recognition and the rallying of supporters. I'm not talking about the upcoming election. This is just a common fiasco seen in my house every year... ever since these 2 new inlaws came into the picture.
I can excuse the immaturity or the cutthroat bitching behind ppl's back... but pls... let it not involve the next generation neither should it put the elders in a difficult situation.
Ah... how I wish to cough blood into the face of you two numbskulls...
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Hone Your Sharpest Sword
The other director was sharing a strategy with me the other day. A strategy on how to excel in life it seems, and often architects are born with the inane ability to relate every concept there is to the mechanics of the universe.
She was telling me on how we should not waste time improving on what we're poor at. Instead, we should just focus on what we're good at and make it unbeatable.
I called it honing your sharpest sword.
Through the internship, I have found my sharper swords. All sharpened and ready to pierce. In the process, I also uncovered the blunt swords. Piles and piles of them.
Today I am forced to face one of these blunt swords. I have been struggling the entire day just to swing this sword at the right vigor and strength. Yet to no avail.
And here I am, being the only one left in the office, swinging and honing this hopelessly blunt sword hoping it would cut through the obstacles ahead.
Sometime I wonder if it's my own problem that I set such difficult tasks for myself.
it is inevitable that I have to go looking for trouble from time to time.
truly disappointed with myself, yet I'm not tired. I should be drained empty by now. Yet I'm still clinging on.
I guess, my other sword is acting in support for this blunt one.
The sword of persistance. I should avoid honing this sword to greater extent.
I do cut myself from time to time.
Keep it up.
She was telling me on how we should not waste time improving on what we're poor at. Instead, we should just focus on what we're good at and make it unbeatable.
I called it honing your sharpest sword.
Through the internship, I have found my sharper swords. All sharpened and ready to pierce. In the process, I also uncovered the blunt swords. Piles and piles of them.
Today I am forced to face one of these blunt swords. I have been struggling the entire day just to swing this sword at the right vigor and strength. Yet to no avail.
And here I am, being the only one left in the office, swinging and honing this hopelessly blunt sword hoping it would cut through the obstacles ahead.
Sometime I wonder if it's my own problem that I set such difficult tasks for myself.
it is inevitable that I have to go looking for trouble from time to time.
truly disappointed with myself, yet I'm not tired. I should be drained empty by now. Yet I'm still clinging on.
I guess, my other sword is acting in support for this blunt one.
The sword of persistance. I should avoid honing this sword to greater extent.
I do cut myself from time to time.
Keep it up.
Saturday, January 08, 2011
Saturday, January 01, 2011
Off Grid
So I ran. To a place far away.
With me, is a passport, some foreign currencies and clothes to change.
I ran to find peace.
Peace within my heart.
Peace within my soul.
Peace within the mind.
Yesterday, was a wrap up of 2010.
It was a year of pain.
A year of love.
A year of grief.
But out of it all...
I am truly proud of her.
For she has been abled to achieve what she nvr thought she could and would.
Even if it hurts...
I stay by the thoughts and ideas I incepted her minds with.
Please remember...
you can achieve anything once you put your mind into it.
Find yourself.
All the best to you.
My love ...
of 2010.
With me, is a passport, some foreign currencies and clothes to change.
I ran to find peace.
Peace within my heart.
Peace within my soul.
Peace within the mind.
Yesterday, was a wrap up of 2010.
It was a year of pain.
A year of love.
A year of grief.
But out of it all...
I am truly proud of her.
For she has been abled to achieve what she nvr thought she could and would.
Even if it hurts...
I stay by the thoughts and ideas I incepted her minds with.
Please remember...
you can achieve anything once you put your mind into it.
Find yourself.
All the best to you.
My love ...
of 2010.
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