Have you ever missed someone?
Someone with great significance, that every detail in life tends to be in lower resolutions without his/her pressence?
Someone who kept you awake all night long in grieving pain feeling insecure, doubtful of his/her well being?
These feelings don't stand to contribute much in production, it just lowers down productivity. Ironically, there's nothing much we can do about it.
We could try a different approach in solving this, say... calling that particular person?
Asking that particular person for a long session of teh tarik?
But how many would opt to pay for telephone bills with astronomical figures?
My parents definitely wont.
And how long could the mamaks stand out in "tariking" their tehs before fatigue sets in.
Is there any absolute solution to this?
Some would opt for a freedom-based relationship where couples do not tie each other up with their time and companies as they felt socializing is a necessity and not a surplus of daily activities.
Others tend to stick to their partners as if their partners were lifeguards and they, themselves played the role of helpless victims stranded in the sea.
When favouring a person, turned into obsession, things get really ugly when events occured.
What sort of events?
Events in which relationships were put into test by their obsessed partners in deep state of paranoia, fearing their other half loved them less, even worse... dont love them anymore!!!!
NULL!!!
KOSONG!
TAK ADA LAGI!!!
And there are also consequences for spending too much time with a particular person. You might tend to lose friends in the process as they too believe in the spirit of 'give n take'.
With you spending too much time with a particular person and neglecting others, you are only giving to a single person and taking from your friends.
That aint fair!
Isn't it ironic?
Yet that does not serve as an excuse to find a state of equilibrium, where care, concern, and companionship are evenly distributed among important people in your life.
Then another dilemma sets in... if everyone is equal... what is the significance in being your soulmate than your fren?
Alas, time and care and love, should be distributed according to weight. Not the mass of your body as in... Zen weighs like 65 kg thus he should be cared more compare to Koe which is like 55 kg. WRONG WRONG WRONG. Weight as in...importance in a person's heart.
Even distributing time requires abundance of human understanding knowledge and proper practice to reach perfection. If put into mathematics, there would be like a dictionary of continual equation filled with multipliers, factors, co-factors, deriviation, exponentiality and so on and so forth...
Maybe my dear friend Kristof could come up with a shorter equation for this.
Humankind is beyond understanding.
We are just a contradicted bunch in general.
Life aint easy i can tell you that.
And definitely not simple. I can view it in a childish way, where trees are just trees, without much consideration if that tree grows fruit for me to eat, if that tree is productive, if it's aesthetical in the middle of the road, if it is blocking the road. But the problems would still be there even if I dont spend time on it reflecting on solutions.
From what my past experience taught me, I learned to distribute my time more evenly now.
Yet at times, i still stumble upon a pond of quicksand pulling me deeper into mistakes. Mistakes which I spent so much commitment in not to do again.
Making a mistake is a chance for one to learn,
but making the same mistake twice is just plain stupidity.
I dont want to miss a person so much... especially someone whom i think dont hold a place for me in her heart.
Maybe she does... in that dusty corner there in her heart filled with spider webs and skeletal remains of fore prisoners before me.
She held me captured...
Why waste time missing someone who doesnt even give a damn about you?
That's beyond my understanding as well.
I just cant help it.
Sometimes it feels good to actually miss someone.
The prize came in when he/she actually misses you in return.
In my case, the prize is not there, so are the judge, and the spectator.
Just me...
Myself....
And I
.
.
.
on the stage...
with the sleeping piano...
and the resting curtain.