Route 66

You picked a route in life...

...you came across an obstacle - You tear it down!
...you fall - You stand up again.
...you fail - You try again.
...you fucked up - You apologize and try harder!

Impossible is only when the mind thinks so.

I Can't Seem to Make You Mine

In the silence of the garden
Moss arizing on the wind
And the beast is pondering love love love
'Till the rusty nail grow dim

(Chorus)
I can't seem to make you mine
Through the long and lonely night
And I try so hard, darling
But the crowd pulled you away
Through the rhythm and the rain
And the ivy coiled around my hand

So I lingered with the people
In the silent August glade
But the rain has brought the night
And the night has brought the rain

(Repeat Chorus)

Aku Cinta Padamu

Andainya engkau, ku miliki,
Terdahulu sebelumnya...
Andaiku curah, rasa hati.
Mungkin kini,
Ku kan tenang di samping mu...

Belum...puas ku menikmati,
Kesan kasih sayang...
kau terpaksa pergi...

Ku terus dicintai...
Walau bisikan mu...
azimat berduri.

Bila cinta... berbunga...
jadi...air mata...di jariku.

Bertapa ku cinta, padamu...
Katakan lah... kau cinta...padaku...
Selamatkan aku...di hati mu...
walau di mana berada...
Ingat ku dalam doamu.

Hiasilah hati, dengan cinta suci.
Selamanya...

Bila cinta, berbunga! Jadi, air mata... di jariku!

Bertapa ku cinta, padamu...
Katakan lah... kau cinta...padaku...
Selamatkan aku...di hati mu...
walau di mana berada...
Ingat ku dalam doamu.

Gemerlapkan jiwa...semikan lah cinta..
Semoga..kau dan aku... akhirnya bersama..
Aku kan menunggu...
Walaupun seribu... tahun lagi...
...

Today

Today... is the 18th of July...
...
...
..
.

good luck.

She doesn't Know

"Never complain if you've chosen.
Quit, if you wish to do so. "

These are words/codes I chose to live by.
But there are times when effort is under appreciated, and your only solitude is through a peaceful medium of self expression.

I'm dead tired now.
But she asked me to wait, for she has agendas to discuss on.
And so I waited.

She asked if I could finish part of the job for her...
And so I made lil sacrifices of meeting the friends, to have it done for her.

She requested professional knowledge that I am not profficient in.
And so I delivered.
She thought it was simple, or simply I am talented ...
The truth is, I started picking up what I've stopped using for a decade now.
Reading books, tutorials and forums all over again.

All these... and more...
she doesn't know.
I hope she knows.
But when she knows, she'll stop asking.

It's a whole lot of dilemma.
I knew it would be tough.
So it makes no sense why I'm not prepared for this.

I'm just tired.
Good night.

just...because...

There are days when one wakes up completely clueless of what to do.
There are days when one wakes up to find out... there's nobody for him/her to call.
There are days when one wakes up to a day of complete dullness... yet the only thing he/she wishes to do... is a moment of solitude... being locked in a room.

These are the days.
I believe I've changed a fair bit. Living up to my promises now...
More cautious about giving out hopes and promises. Only to find out...
There's just one person I've disappointed.
And for all the promises I've lived up to... is just more of a disappointment to realise...
of all the promises I've broken.

All these promises... I promised myself.
I'm sorry... of all the people... it had to be you I must hurt.
But it's ok. Because you know I have a lifetime to make it up to you.
Because you and I know you're strong.
Because... because ....

just because...

I'm sorry.

Only Human

I'm no superhero.
Yet I wished I were...
Still at the age of playing pretend.
I tend to portray myself as one.

A figure that knows no pain.
That recovers at superhuman speed.
Able to overcome any given obstacles.

Yet something just cut me through like a butter knife.
The irony of being a superhero.
There's no public holiday for one.
There's nobody you could share your secret identity with.
And every hero is bound to some sort of weakness.

For superman, there's the kryptonite.
For spiderman, there's Maryjane.

I guess... I've found mine.

Deep down... we're all the same.
It turns out... after all this...
I'm only human.

020209

Everything goes on rewind...
The surrounding dematerializes...

Dawn breaks through...
...It's morning...
It was ... just... a dream.

=) Good Morning.

Fate

Fate and I had a deal.
A deal whereby I were to put up with a fight on every thing decided for me.
As I believe fate should be governed by our own hands.
Or at least a will for one to go against what was determined to us without a say.

Once again...
I've went against that deal we made.
Today... I shall let fate decide.
Just because... another promise overruled the first one.

Till we meet again...

Take care.

This Feeling

I have always been cursed with a gift...
A premonition of what's going to happen.
It's nothing like what you see in movies, whereby people foresee the future of any major event or people around them.

This premonition, in other words, is just a feeling of pessimissism.
It's the way the brain filters out tremendous shock towards the heart.
Through pessimissism, I tend to predict and feel for the worst case scenario.
Having the ability to foretell what the next disappointment in my life is going to be.

I've seen it one time too many in my life.
It is instances like these that I refrain myself from saying "I told you so."
Because I would rather be wrong than having to feel all these messed up feeling.

I understand promises were meant to be broken.
I understand circumstances were bound to happen.
But at least let it be for the right reasons....
At least let someone else do it...
Or at least... grant me the power ... to ease the pain...
to prevent any more damage done...

But I stood helpless...
Only able to wait to see what takes place next.
I wish to sleep...
I tried to sleep...
I tried to ignore... I tried to let life goes on.

It is then I know...
that this feeling also means...
I've lost complete sovereign over my heart...

Sorry. No Sharing

Sometimes people find romance in the stangest of places.
And mystery is often a romantic notion.

But there are some things in life that you just wish to share...
And there are those you wish to share... but yet you just can't....

Sorry... no comment.

Light

It's been 3 - 4 years now.
I've lost count.

Looking back, life is pretty simple for me back then.
Life is always one track minded.
Finish studies to the highest level, secure a job... start a family...
and see the world to its last sunset.

The story begins in March 2008, where a simple mistake, gave me new lights... and hope...
I was inspired... I was in flame...
Life in Melbourne, although known as lil KL, it's pretty boring when you're short on money...
and stuck with a bunch of aquaintances that barely treats you as a friend.
Stuck in front of the computer screen... But perhaps it is this bad start... that trigger a world of opportunities for me.

In June 2008, disaster strikes. For the very first time I experienced complete failure. I was lost...
I collapsed... tumbling from the highest peak of ego... to the lowest creek of shame. Yet mercy is upon me... as a little shine of light from a far was left to lift me up once more.... to guide me... to motivate me.

This source of light...so distant... so far... yet... it felt warm... and so inspiring.
Life goes on. You'll never see failure the same way after a great defeat.
You will fear it... to the bones... you felt crypt shivers running through your spine at the call of its name. But you will learn to face your fears...
You'll learn that failure is inevitable... it is this constant fear that will drive you to greater heights... to master your fears...and to make it your source of motivation....

All these... from that little glimse of light that shined through the darkest of clouds from 3000 miles away.
I tracked the source, I followed its path...
It's not easy to judge the distant of light... even when the glare is now intensified...
I have to still chase this light... to achieve greater heights... to fully harness this source
of inspiration and hope.

There's so much I wish to do...
There's so much I wish to say...
But yet...for now... there's only so much I could tell.