Fate

Fate and I had a deal.
A deal whereby I were to put up with a fight on every thing decided for me.
As I believe fate should be governed by our own hands.
Or at least a will for one to go against what was determined to us without a say.

Once again...
I've went against that deal we made.
Today... I shall let fate decide.
Just because... another promise overruled the first one.

Till we meet again...

Take care.

This Feeling

I have always been cursed with a gift...
A premonition of what's going to happen.
It's nothing like what you see in movies, whereby people foresee the future of any major event or people around them.

This premonition, in other words, is just a feeling of pessimissism.
It's the way the brain filters out tremendous shock towards the heart.
Through pessimissism, I tend to predict and feel for the worst case scenario.
Having the ability to foretell what the next disappointment in my life is going to be.

I've seen it one time too many in my life.
It is instances like these that I refrain myself from saying "I told you so."
Because I would rather be wrong than having to feel all these messed up feeling.

I understand promises were meant to be broken.
I understand circumstances were bound to happen.
But at least let it be for the right reasons....
At least let someone else do it...
Or at least... grant me the power ... to ease the pain...
to prevent any more damage done...

But I stood helpless...
Only able to wait to see what takes place next.
I wish to sleep...
I tried to sleep...
I tried to ignore... I tried to let life goes on.

It is then I know...
that this feeling also means...
I've lost complete sovereign over my heart...

Sorry. No Sharing

Sometimes people find romance in the stangest of places.
And mystery is often a romantic notion.

But there are some things in life that you just wish to share...
And there are those you wish to share... but yet you just can't....

Sorry... no comment.

Light

It's been 3 - 4 years now.
I've lost count.

Looking back, life is pretty simple for me back then.
Life is always one track minded.
Finish studies to the highest level, secure a job... start a family...
and see the world to its last sunset.

The story begins in March 2008, where a simple mistake, gave me new lights... and hope...
I was inspired... I was in flame...
Life in Melbourne, although known as lil KL, it's pretty boring when you're short on money...
and stuck with a bunch of aquaintances that barely treats you as a friend.
Stuck in front of the computer screen... But perhaps it is this bad start... that trigger a world of opportunities for me.

In June 2008, disaster strikes. For the very first time I experienced complete failure. I was lost...
I collapsed... tumbling from the highest peak of ego... to the lowest creek of shame. Yet mercy is upon me... as a little shine of light from a far was left to lift me up once more.... to guide me... to motivate me.

This source of light...so distant... so far... yet... it felt warm... and so inspiring.
Life goes on. You'll never see failure the same way after a great defeat.
You will fear it... to the bones... you felt crypt shivers running through your spine at the call of its name. But you will learn to face your fears...
You'll learn that failure is inevitable... it is this constant fear that will drive you to greater heights... to master your fears...and to make it your source of motivation....

All these... from that little glimse of light that shined through the darkest of clouds from 3000 miles away.
I tracked the source, I followed its path...
It's not easy to judge the distant of light... even when the glare is now intensified...
I have to still chase this light... to achieve greater heights... to fully harness this source
of inspiration and hope.

There's so much I wish to do...
There's so much I wish to say...
But yet...for now... there's only so much I could tell.