A friend was asking if I could convince her bf to study abroad.
I am not exactly the right person to speak to him.
Everyone has a choice in life, of what he/she wishes to do.
We can only do so much as to share our experience and to provide our insights.
How much one takes it to account is by personal preference and initiative.
A month back this time I was in Vietnam. A place called Halong Bay. There I came across the floating village whereby every dwellers young and old had been staying on their respective boathouses since the dawn of their time.
A colleague was lamenting on the fact that the childrens will never get proper education. They will never enjoy the luxury of seeing the world we do. Their context will forever be bounded in a little water village that is Halong Bay.
From another perspective... they will never know what they miss, if they never had it from the beginning. What is there to compare... when there is none to be compared with from the beginning? How is one to measure the amount of sheer joy, in which they obtain in the confinement of a little village, in contrast to us city dwellers that never cease to fill the empty void that is our heart.
True happiness can come in the simplest of form. I simply find bliss in holding one's love so closely, you breathe the same air she does... An infusion of scent that uniquely tells the story of two... A sense of rhythm that is the pace of one's breathing...
Happiness can be as simple as an exploration of the senses with someone you find worthy of.
When will I be happy again...
?
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
The Little Things
This time around, I left the country in a hurry. I didn't prepare much before coming over. Everything was in a mess...
Every digital material was chucked into my thumbdrives and harddisks, while every necessity was stuffed into my luggage bag.
As we enter the 4th week now, there are still things that I need to sort out one by one. Not that I'm complaining. Perhaps being unorganized is not such a bad thing afterall.
Was downloading files via the school computer today. The norm. Get things downloaded, plugged in the thumbdrive...and as I was about to copy... "Disk Space Full" it prompted.
So I browsed through to see what could be removed. Took out some of the songs, trying to clear as much space as possible so that I could bring all my files back. There it stood a folder, 'Pictures' it says. So I went in wondering what possibly could be in that folder of mine...
Little memories I brought from PD... The silly smiles, the hilarious antics, random pictures that only I find relevance in... It brought a smile that pretty much stucked on my face for some pretty long hours...
I didn't get to copy every file home. Some spaces are just not disposable. The files can wait.
Today's sun was beaming brightly... on the way back... I stood awake... throughout the entire journey. Started to notice things that I wouldnt normally see when I was commuting home. Never noticed how near my current place is from a highschool. Never realized how many fastfood chains are there around the area... never realized a garden of wild daisies along the houses...not until now...
Friends are a little worried, why the constant excitement each time I see daisies on the streets, on someone's yard, in some florist's stand... They're prolly more concerned about my sexual preference over my state of mind. Nonetheless, such irregular behaviour pursues... I sneaked into a man's backyard... all for the sake of capturing a bunch of purple daisies.
Perhaps I was too engross with what I was doing, I was frightened by a sudden voice behind. "What are you doing in my lawn?" he said.
Panic ensues... had to think of a clever getaway, pronto. I stood up. Slowly turned behind, while simultaneously providing uplifts for the cheeks, and lips... as soon as my face gets fully alligned to the owner's, I was smiling like a Cheshire cat.
"Nothing!"
"Lovely daisies you have!"
"Have a nice day!!!"
Not a second too soon, I happily skipped away from the periphery that is his house's...and started running as soon as all visual connections between the owner and I were cut off.
Wether it's taking pictures of flowers, refinding lil memories or getting caught for my irregular behaviors... putting humility aside... it actually brought smiles day in and out.
I believe I've brought more than I expected in my luggage. Along with the clothes, toiletries, gadjets and documents... I brought these little things from Msia...
It's the little things in life... that make us all smile.
Have you smiled today?
Every digital material was chucked into my thumbdrives and harddisks, while every necessity was stuffed into my luggage bag.
As we enter the 4th week now, there are still things that I need to sort out one by one. Not that I'm complaining. Perhaps being unorganized is not such a bad thing afterall.
Was downloading files via the school computer today. The norm. Get things downloaded, plugged in the thumbdrive...and as I was about to copy... "Disk Space Full" it prompted.
So I browsed through to see what could be removed. Took out some of the songs, trying to clear as much space as possible so that I could bring all my files back. There it stood a folder, 'Pictures' it says. So I went in wondering what possibly could be in that folder of mine...
Little memories I brought from PD... The silly smiles, the hilarious antics, random pictures that only I find relevance in... It brought a smile that pretty much stucked on my face for some pretty long hours...
I didn't get to copy every file home. Some spaces are just not disposable. The files can wait.
Today's sun was beaming brightly... on the way back... I stood awake... throughout the entire journey. Started to notice things that I wouldnt normally see when I was commuting home. Never noticed how near my current place is from a highschool. Never realized how many fastfood chains are there around the area... never realized a garden of wild daisies along the houses...not until now...
Friends are a little worried, why the constant excitement each time I see daisies on the streets, on someone's yard, in some florist's stand... They're prolly more concerned about my sexual preference over my state of mind. Nonetheless, such irregular behaviour pursues... I sneaked into a man's backyard... all for the sake of capturing a bunch of purple daisies.
Perhaps I was too engross with what I was doing, I was frightened by a sudden voice behind. "What are you doing in my lawn?" he said.
Panic ensues... had to think of a clever getaway, pronto. I stood up. Slowly turned behind, while simultaneously providing uplifts for the cheeks, and lips... as soon as my face gets fully alligned to the owner's, I was smiling like a Cheshire cat.
"Nothing!"
"Lovely daisies you have!"
"Have a nice day!!!"
Not a second too soon, I happily skipped away from the periphery that is his house's...and started running as soon as all visual connections between the owner and I were cut off.
Wether it's taking pictures of flowers, refinding lil memories or getting caught for my irregular behaviors... putting humility aside... it actually brought smiles day in and out.
I believe I've brought more than I expected in my luggage. Along with the clothes, toiletries, gadjets and documents... I brought these little things from Msia...
It's the little things in life... that make us all smile.
Have you smiled today?
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Bullshit.
"Bullshit!" exlcaimed the tutor.
A burst of laughter from the small crowd that is Scale City Studio.
I can feel my face heated up, yet I stood proud. In returned I asked, "What? Bullshit?"
"Yes Bullshit I say."
My final struggle from drowning in the swarms of laughter... "No it's not. Can be done."
"Well prove it to me then!"
"I believe I will." I ran through the datas instantly as soon as I got off the projector screen. I see no wrong in my claims... I waited till class ended... and went back to the tutor...
He apologized, as soon as he realized it was simply a small problem of miscommunication. Yet... this uneasy feeling followed me back home. Was it due to the humiliation in amongst the peers? I believe not.
He wasn't all wrong in calling Bullz right in my face. I was at a wrong. My presentation of information wasn't clear enough. On my way back, I came up with about 3 to 4 better improvements to how I could've done better in the scenario to avoid the humiliation. I should've make better preparations.
Nobody is perfect it seems. It's just an expectation I've set for myself... How could I have let my guards down... There is still so much room left for improvement.
Guess it's demoralizing...simply because I expected something out of today's presentation. The adrenaline rush I get through appraisals and recognition is prolly the only motivation I have left to keep me going on a day to day basis. Yet the downfall to this... is that when you don't get what you want, you simply fall from the peak of ego... onto the ground of humility.
I fall, I learn... I try again... I am coping much better as the weeks pass by. Emotionally stronger by the week. But I'd be lying if I were to deny the joy of having one to share your sorrows, one that would lift your 'downs' with her 'ups'.
Perhaps I could ask her to share some of the excitement from her day.
A burst of laughter from the small crowd that is Scale City Studio.
I can feel my face heated up, yet I stood proud. In returned I asked, "What? Bullshit?"
"Yes Bullshit I say."
My final struggle from drowning in the swarms of laughter... "No it's not. Can be done."
"Well prove it to me then!"
"I believe I will." I ran through the datas instantly as soon as I got off the projector screen. I see no wrong in my claims... I waited till class ended... and went back to the tutor...
He apologized, as soon as he realized it was simply a small problem of miscommunication. Yet... this uneasy feeling followed me back home. Was it due to the humiliation in amongst the peers? I believe not.
He wasn't all wrong in calling Bullz right in my face. I was at a wrong. My presentation of information wasn't clear enough. On my way back, I came up with about 3 to 4 better improvements to how I could've done better in the scenario to avoid the humiliation. I should've make better preparations.
Nobody is perfect it seems. It's just an expectation I've set for myself... How could I have let my guards down... There is still so much room left for improvement.
Guess it's demoralizing...simply because I expected something out of today's presentation. The adrenaline rush I get through appraisals and recognition is prolly the only motivation I have left to keep me going on a day to day basis. Yet the downfall to this... is that when you don't get what you want, you simply fall from the peak of ego... onto the ground of humility.
I fall, I learn... I try again... I am coping much better as the weeks pass by. Emotionally stronger by the week. But I'd be lying if I were to deny the joy of having one to share your sorrows, one that would lift your 'downs' with her 'ups'.
Perhaps I could ask her to share some of the excitement from her day.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Week 02
It was midnight... I was heading home from the city. It's the weekend. The streets are crowded, and the trams were packed. Just had a drink or two with some highschool friends, and there goes again the usual flattering on how prospectous my career could lead me. Truth is...
I find it really difficult now. Prolly it was the drink...that stirred up all these emotional turmoil. Or it's just what lies hidden beneath my guts all these while.
I'm very very tired... mentally...and needless to say...physically. Professional courses take a whole hell long of a time to complete...I'm at the very final 2 steps... I should cross it. I know. Hence where I am now. This is a fight alone. I do not wish to pass this worry to the family...They should not know of this. The friends have their own shit to take care of...
When I was walking home from the station, I chanted... "Zen Koe, Architect".... "Zen Koe, ARCHITECT!", "Zen Koe, Registered Architect!" ...it's no longer the same... the will to fight on... no longer rivals the spirit I had...
I really wish you could tell me that I'm not alone... but lets get realistic...
till the day arrives...
I just have to be strong.
and if I still fall...
Be stronger.
I find it really difficult now. Prolly it was the drink...that stirred up all these emotional turmoil. Or it's just what lies hidden beneath my guts all these while.
I'm very very tired... mentally...and needless to say...physically. Professional courses take a whole hell long of a time to complete...I'm at the very final 2 steps... I should cross it. I know. Hence where I am now. This is a fight alone. I do not wish to pass this worry to the family...They should not know of this. The friends have their own shit to take care of...
When I was walking home from the station, I chanted... "Zen Koe, Architect".... "Zen Koe, ARCHITECT!", "Zen Koe, Registered Architect!" ...it's no longer the same... the will to fight on... no longer rivals the spirit I had...
I really wish you could tell me that I'm not alone... but lets get realistic...
till the day arrives...
I just have to be strong.
and if I still fall...
Be stronger.
Sunday, March 07, 2010
Falling Ill
Australia is basically a rather clean city to live in. The air is fresh (surprisingly the 3rd largest carbon footprint on earth), the climate change is bearable, but its inevitable for one to completely avoid the flu bug.
Over the discourse of 2008, I fell ill around the month of August. It was not a pleasant feeling. Throughout the recuperation period, one can't help but to think of those he/she dears for... The things I would trade for a moment of touch and a moment of care.
In 2010, I received this warm welcome from Melbourne just a week after arrival. I caught the flu bug. It was a sudden attack with no signs of warning from the body. The body suddenly loses strength, immense pain throughout... The worst part is having to travel so far a disorientated body.
When night falls it was prolly one of the worst experience I've came to experience till this point of life. The temperature is of 21 degrees celcius... But I was shivering under a 2" thick silk blanket, paired with an unbearable backache. It was a sleepless night. I resist calling you... even that I knew you're my instant pain killer. As I promised to take good care of myself and not having to let you worry.
The torturous experience lasted only for a night. For the next morning, I regained partial strength and feeling all rigor and ready to move. I moved into this new alien place just late yesterday. Although far off from the city, it is made up for its beautiful setting and my rather beautiful room. Plus the rent is at an affordable rate. My landlords are pretty nice people too. So nice that no bond or tie of agreement is required throughout the duration of my stay.
There was a hail storm yesterday as I was moving out. Ice missles as large as 5cm diameter shooting from the sky. The city was in chaos, people on the streets running frantically to gain shelter. The hail made its way through Melbourne city with a trail of destruction. The aftermath is rather daunting, streets filled with ambulances and red engines... Sirens ringing everywhere, while the streets are emptied in just moments.
All in all, all iz well. I manage to navigate my way back to my new home safely, and my recovery is at an optimistic rate. Today would be a better day.
Over the discourse of 2008, I fell ill around the month of August. It was not a pleasant feeling. Throughout the recuperation period, one can't help but to think of those he/she dears for... The things I would trade for a moment of touch and a moment of care.
In 2010, I received this warm welcome from Melbourne just a week after arrival. I caught the flu bug. It was a sudden attack with no signs of warning from the body. The body suddenly loses strength, immense pain throughout... The worst part is having to travel so far a disorientated body.
When night falls it was prolly one of the worst experience I've came to experience till this point of life. The temperature is of 21 degrees celcius... But I was shivering under a 2" thick silk blanket, paired with an unbearable backache. It was a sleepless night. I resist calling you... even that I knew you're my instant pain killer. As I promised to take good care of myself and not having to let you worry.
The torturous experience lasted only for a night. For the next morning, I regained partial strength and feeling all rigor and ready to move. I moved into this new alien place just late yesterday. Although far off from the city, it is made up for its beautiful setting and my rather beautiful room. Plus the rent is at an affordable rate. My landlords are pretty nice people too. So nice that no bond or tie of agreement is required throughout the duration of my stay.
There was a hail storm yesterday as I was moving out. Ice missles as large as 5cm diameter shooting from the sky. The city was in chaos, people on the streets running frantically to gain shelter. The hail made its way through Melbourne city with a trail of destruction. The aftermath is rather daunting, streets filled with ambulances and red engines... Sirens ringing everywhere, while the streets are emptied in just moments.
All in all, all iz well. I manage to navigate my way back to my new home safely, and my recovery is at an optimistic rate. Today would be a better day.
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