It was midnight... I was heading home from the city. It's the weekend. The streets are crowded, and the trams were packed. Just had a drink or two with some highschool friends, and there goes again the usual flattering on how prospectous my career could lead me. Truth is...
I find it really difficult now. Prolly it was the drink...that stirred up all these emotional turmoil. Or it's just what lies hidden beneath my guts all these while.
I'm very very tired... mentally...and needless to say...physically. Professional courses take a whole hell long of a time to complete...I'm at the very final 2 steps... I should cross it. I know. Hence where I am now. This is a fight alone. I do not wish to pass this worry to the family...They should not know of this. The friends have their own shit to take care of...
When I was walking home from the station, I chanted... "Zen Koe, Architect".... "Zen Koe, ARCHITECT!", "Zen Koe, Registered Architect!" ...it's no longer the same... the will to fight on... no longer rivals the spirit I had...
I really wish you could tell me that I'm not alone... but lets get realistic...
till the day arrives...
I just have to be strong.
and if I still fall...
Be stronger.