"Bullshit!" exlcaimed the tutor.
A burst of laughter from the small crowd that is Scale City Studio.
I can feel my face heated up, yet I stood proud. In returned I asked, "What? Bullshit?"
"Yes Bullshit I say."
My final struggle from drowning in the swarms of laughter... "No it's not. Can be done."
"Well prove it to me then!"
"I believe I will." I ran through the datas instantly as soon as I got off the projector screen. I see no wrong in my claims... I waited till class ended... and went back to the tutor...
He apologized, as soon as he realized it was simply a small problem of miscommunication. Yet... this uneasy feeling followed me back home. Was it due to the humiliation in amongst the peers? I believe not.
He wasn't all wrong in calling Bullz right in my face. I was at a wrong. My presentation of information wasn't clear enough. On my way back, I came up with about 3 to 4 better improvements to how I could've done better in the scenario to avoid the humiliation. I should've make better preparations.
Nobody is perfect it seems. It's just an expectation I've set for myself... How could I have let my guards down... There is still so much room left for improvement.
Guess it's demoralizing...simply because I expected something out of today's presentation. The adrenaline rush I get through appraisals and recognition is prolly the only motivation I have left to keep me going on a day to day basis. Yet the downfall to this... is that when you don't get what you want, you simply fall from the peak of ego... onto the ground of humility.
I fall, I learn... I try again... I am coping much better as the weeks pass by. Emotionally stronger by the week. But I'd be lying if I were to deny the joy of having one to share your sorrows, one that would lift your 'downs' with her 'ups'.
Perhaps I could ask her to share some of the excitement from her day.