There comes a time when one feels completely lost at his/her own identity.
What's left is but your name, age and sex.
Perhaps this is not a common seen scenario in most of people's life.
However, such cases occured in my life from time to time, as if history is repeating itself over and over again like a broken cassette player.
It could be that I am a snake, always eager to have a shed of skin, gaining a new set of skin for appraisals or fear.
Nonetheless, it is through these moments in my life, I get to question myself of my purpose in life and to find new motivations in things I do.
This time however, is totally different...
Normally it would only take a week or less to reassemble the broken pieces of myself and continue with my enthutiastic life.
It has been a month now.
I'm still at lost. As if a fragment of me is missing... somewhere in this abyss of my heart.
My mind is occupied by a blackhole where every issues that matters are being ionized into insignificant particles thrown into the recycle bin.
Perhaps it is due to a fall in gradings...a miscalculation which shakens the very foundation of my confidence.
Or a series of nostalgic awakenings... that brings turmoil into my calm state of mind.
Whatever it is... I'm not sure...
Actually... I have no idea.
But this has to end soon.
As more projects are on its way... and this self discovering process is overused as an excuse for procrastination.
Procrastination needs no excuse. Laziness is infinite.
But this is not the case...
I wish to complete my assignments early.
I wish to be motivated in life!
But there is simply no driving force left in me...
If a car breaks down... No matter how severe the injury is at stake....
There deems to be a solution...
But when the driver is missing... The car is simply... stationary.
Don't give me craps about automated cars... and AI drivers...
This car, being this carapace I'm trapped within, simply would not budge without a driver.
Forget a new set of engines...
Forget a new set of wheels...
Forget a brand new paintjob...
A car just can't live without a driver.